Murder Suspect May Buy Manchester United

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 24 October 2019

image for Murder Suspect May Buy Manchester United
Mr bin Salman (right) talking to Harry Maguire at Blackpool earlier

The red half of Greater Manchester is buzzing with expectation tonight, after it was leaked to the media that the lead suspect in the as-yet unsolved Jamal Khashoggi murder, Saudi Arabian Prince Mohammed bin Salman, is interested in buying Manchester United.

MBS, as he has become known, is the man the CIA claim ordered the murder, sawing-up, and dissolving of the Washington Post journalist in the SA consulate in Istanbul, in October of last year.

The world seemingly having forgotten about the missing pieces of Mr Khashoggi, Mr bin Salman has expressed his enthusiasm for getting into the 'football ownership' racket, and for spending lots of money on bringing the world's best players to Old Trafford.

Manchester United fans were quick to react. One said:

"If y'can't beat City, join 'em! He's got to be worth a bob or two!"

Another said:

"We urgently need rid of OGS. Maybe MBS could help."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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