Boris Johnson Reveals Brexit Date Was Chosen To Coincide With Jimmy Savile's Birthday

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 22 October 2019

image for Boris Johnson Reveals Brexit Date Was Chosen To Coincide With Jimmy Savile's Birthday
The captain of a ship in deep distress

Boris Johnson has revealed that his decision over the date for the UK leaving the European Union - 31 October - was a conscious one to honour the memory of former TV personality, Jimmy Savile, whose birthday it would have been on that day.

Savile, if he wasn't dead, would have been 93 years old on Brexitday.

It's thought Johnson was a big admirer of Savile, and the pair share several common characteristics. Aside from both being Tories, Johnson's flyaway, shockheaded, mop-top barnet closely resembles the thatch which the former Radio 1 DJ had perched on his pædophile bonce.

Significantly, Savile was, and Johnson is, as mad as a hatter.

Another famous person who would have been celebrating his birthday on the same day would have been the explorer, Christopher Columbus, a man whose obvious skills the UK government could have made extremely good use of.

The Italian would almost certainly have been able to navigate and negotiate his way through the rough seas of Brexit more competently than any of the Tory crew members have so far managed.

Interestingly, one of Columbus' three ships, the Santa Maria, ran aground off the coast of modern-day Haiti on Christmas Day in 1492, and Johnson could easily be seen in a similar role, as he is definitely steering the UK ever nearer to the European rocks of disaster.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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