English Subtitles Spoilt Man's Enjoyment Of Chinese Film

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 12 October 2019

image for English Subtitles Spoilt Man's Enjoyment Of Chinese Film
King dismisses his daughter's lover, who points at him in fury.

A man watching a Chinese-language movie with English subtitles has revealed how his enjoyment of the production was spoilt because of the sub-standard skills of those responsible for the translations.

The movie was on the TV on Saturday morning, and was being watched by the man, his wife and two children, and a gaggle of other people whose identities, to him, remain unclear.

The gist of the story was that there was a king or 'leader' who had a daughter that quite liked one of her dad's soldiers. Dad wasn't keen though, and kept devising ways to keep them apart. He sent the soldier on a deadly mission, hoping that the young man would be killed, but he was back in no time, mission accomplished.

Eventually, things came to a head, and the king decided to try and reason with his daughter's lover:

King: Contrivance! You make me furious!
Lover: I do not intend.
King: Then go away, as far as not come back!
Lover: But I love daughter.
King: I disallow it.
Lover: You are mean!
King: And you are utmost cheekiness! Vanish from my eyesight!
Lover: Goodbye
King: Good ridance!

Finally, there was a mass martial arts brawl, followed by some light-hearted comedy touches, and the lovestruck couple were wed, much to the annoyance of the king, who sat on his throne with his hand propping-up his chin, looking miserable.

The man won't be watching too much more of this shit.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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