There were 264 spoof news stories published in February 2019. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Bezos Takes Over National Enquirer and Merges it With Washington Post

Bezos Takes Over National Enquirer and Merges it With Washington Post

Although it was thought that the National Enquirer would become the advertising insert of the venerable Washington Post, it turns out it is actually to become more of a print version of Amazon.com. Bezos has long envied the Enquirer's place on th...

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Funny story: Old Bag Shopping Trolley Sales At 40-Year High

Old Bag Shopping Trolley Sales At 40-Year High

Figures out today reveal an unexpected upturn in retail sales for the month of January, with many shops that sell those 'old bag' shopping trolleys (pictured) reporting a huge increase in demand. The trolleys are the preferred method of conveying...

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Funny story: Karl Lagerfeld Cat To Make Changes To Brand

Karl Lagerfeld Cat To Make Changes To Brand

The death of German fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld on Tuesday, and the subsequent revelations about his will, might well mean huge changes ahead for the Lagerfeld empire. Lagerfeld, 85, left his $200million fashion empire entirely in the hands of...

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Funny story: Polar Bears Are Changing Color

Polar Bears Are Changing Color

Polar Bears, the big, beautiful 'White Warriors of the North', are adapting to climate change in a totally unexpected way that was unforeseen by scientists, in that they are changing their color. The bears, who live almost 'unseen' in the totally...

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Funny story: City Centre Retail Success Story Keeps On Growing

City Centre Retail Success Story Keeps On Growing

The value of being selected as the UK City of Culture has been proven beyond all shadow of a doubt, after the news that Hull, the 2017 incumbent, has expanded its city centre retail trade exponentially, according to local gossip. Despite losing it...

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Funny story: Cheaply Purchased Trac Phone Runs Out Of Minutes As Man Desperately Tries To Provide Advice To Others

Cheaply Purchased Trac Phone Runs Out Of Minutes As Man Desperately Tries To Provide Advice To Others

Beloit, Wisconsin. Brad Steiner's trac phone ran out of minutes last Friday, February 1st, after he spent the entire evening desperately trying to provide deep advice to others who were feeling emotionally distressed and extremely troubled. Brad,...

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Funny story: Popsicles Melting at Alarming Rate

Popsicles Melting at Alarming Rate

A daycare center in Oakland, California, experiencing the extreme effects of rising global temperatures, has reported that popsicles are melting at an alarming rate. “Children are our future,” said daycare attendant Maria Vazquez, “and our kids ar...

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Funny story: Humanity Will Outlive Insects by at Least a Month, Claims Optimistic Report

Humanity Will Outlive Insects by at Least a Month, Claims Optimistic Report

The world is still recovering from a shock caused by the latest scientific report claiming that all insects may be extinct by the end of the century, which will result in a collapse of the planetary ecosystem. In an effort to plant a seed of opti...

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Funny story: Local Employee Decapitated For Having Too Many Unexcused Absences

Local Employee Decapitated For Having Too Many Unexcused Absences

St. Paul, Minnesota. The corporate staff at Pete's National Decking Products, a factory that produces household furniture items and outdoor decking material, executed one of their employees last Monday at 12:30 pm. Thomas Waters, 42, was allo...

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Funny story: Scientists Link Youtube Political Propaganda Videos to 5 Point Drop in Average IQ of Americans

Scientists Link Youtube Political Propaganda Videos to 5 Point Drop in Average IQ of Americans

Atlanta - Scientists studying an apparent 5-point drop in the average IQ of adults in the United States, have established a connection between the fall in test results and the online and television viewing habits of those subjects. The research...

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Funny story: Wife Beats Up Hubby Because of a Song

Wife Beats Up Hubby Because of a Song

Truth be told -- it wasn't just ANY song the hubby was crooning. It was that old 1909 song, "My Wife's Gone to the Country (Hurrah! Hurrah!)." Music by Ted Snyder, with lyrics by Irving Berlin and George Whiting. Here's an excerpt: My wif...

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Funny story: Jussie Smollett Says All White People Attacked Him

Jussie Smollett Says All White People Attacked Him

Jussie Smollett, the black African-American actor who used to star in the Empire TV series, claims he has been the victim of a callous, vicious, and malicious race-motivated attack by every single white person on the planet, and he's deadly serious.

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Funny story: People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report

People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report

After surveys and statistical data were analyzed at the University of Colorado last week, the results indicated that people actually do cheat on each other constantly, while looking for more money as they steadfastly maintain a need to go to Church e...

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Funny story: Jussie Smollett Diagnosed As Color Blind

Jussie Smollett Diagnosed As Color Blind

Jussie Smollett, the African-American former star of the TV series 'Empire', has suffered a another setback today, after he was diagnosed as color blind, by me. Smollett isn't just borderline color blind, either. The star, who was paid $65,000...

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Funny story: Karl Lagerfeld Used To Stroke His Cat

Karl Lagerfeld Used To Stroke His Cat

The late fashion designer, Karl Lagerfeld used to stroke his cat, Choupette, it's been revealed. Lagerfeld, who died on Tuesday, aged 85, would sit for hours in a high-backed swivel chair gently stroking the beautiful, silky, white fur of Choupett...

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Funny story: Man Absolutely Nails Perfect Wave to Passing Driver

Man Absolutely Nails Perfect Wave to Passing Driver

A man driving back from the dump today absolutely nailed his wave to a minor acquaintance who passed him in his car. “It was just fantastic,” said the man. “The guy drove past me, I recognized his car, I made eye contact and then gave a cool nonch...

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Funny story: Theodore McCarrick Hopes There Is No God

Theodore McCarrick Hopes There Is No God

The former archbishop of Washington, D.C., who is currently mired in allegations of sexual abuse, has said that he hopes that there is no God, otherwise he is in a shitload of trouble. Theodore McCarrick, now 88, faces charges of sexually abusing...

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Funny story: Martina Navratilova Changes Her Name To Martin

Martina Navratilova Changes Her Name To Martin

Former women's tennis star, Martina Navrátilová, has announced that she has changed her name to 'Martin'. It's not immediately apparent why the 18-time Grand Slam singles winner has decided to make this alteration, but it is almost irrelevant, as...

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Funny story: Shamima Begum Forms Her Own Ultra-Radical Islamic Terror Group

Shamima Begum Forms Her Own Ultra-Radical Islamic Terror Group

Shamima Begum, the British girl who has been stripped of her British citizenship by the government, after she left London to join the Islamic State forces in Syria four years ago when she was just 15, has accepted the decision with humility, and has...

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Funny story: Banksy Has Had A Change Of Perspective

Banksy Has Had A Change Of Perspective

Banksy, the mysterious mischievous anonymous street artist who has produced dozens of 'pieces' of street art, all over the world, has undergone a drastic change of perspective with his latest masterpiece. The Bristol artist, who regularly creeps o...

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Funny story: Auckland’s Mt Eden volcano blows its top at $50,000 fine for smoking in public.

Auckland’s Mt Eden volcano blows its top at $50,000 fine for smoking in public.

$50,000 Fine. Please pay immediatelyVolcanoes in New Zealand have been grumbling at the Government’s constant annual walloping of smokers of raising prices by 10% every year. Volcanoes consider themselves original inhabitants of New Zealand, and have...

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Funny story: Jussie Smollett No Longer A Newsworthy Item

Jussie Smollett No Longer A Newsworthy Item

Jussie Smollett, who was once a high-salary earner whilst acting in TV show 'Empire' before his career took a nosedive due to his color-blindness, is no longer a newsworthy item, and will be dropped from public perception forthwith. Smollett was i...

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Funny story: International Best-Selling Author Writes Another Book About Stress Management That Nobody Has Any Time To Read

International Best-Selling Author Writes Another Book About Stress Management That Nobody Has Any Time To Read

Accomplished author, Bob Durning, recently wrote a 790-page book about stress management that nobody has any time to read. The number 1 hit seller, which has the potential of completely rocking the world of literature, is currently sitting in...

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Funny story: Lakers Trade Magic Johnson to Cleveland

Lakers Trade Magic Johnson to Cleveland

Almost lost in the flurry of last-minute trades before the NBA deadline, was a strange arrangement between two struggling teams who once were at the top of their respective divisions. In a surreptitious exchange, the Los Angeles Lakers sent their...

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Funny story: New York Artist Unsuccessfully Tries to Sell Out

New York Artist Unsuccessfully Tries to Sell Out

Fed up with life as a struggling artist, abstract modernist painter Hal Fisher of New York City decided to abandon his artistic integrity and sell out – only to find that no one was interested in buying. “Talk about taking it in the balls,” said H...

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Funny story: France exports explosive spud to Hong Kong!

France exports explosive spud to Hong Kong!

France has declared itself the Nr 1 exporter of spuds to ex-UK colony, Hong Kong. The Hong Kong public are now enjoying French spuds turned into to chilly crisps because Brit spuds are too expensive and filled with black eyes! The latest EU deal w...

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Funny story: The N.R.A. Goes Green With Blood-Spattered Plan

The N.R.A. Goes Green With Blood-Spattered Plan

Washington D.C. The National Rifle Association is addressing climate change. In a bid to abandon its outdated message that everyone needs a Glock and an AR-15, in case they want to go on an impromptu hunting trip, they've made the move to a more pres...

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Funny story: Concerned Wisconsin Resident Determined To End 'Abusive' Company Strategy Of Selling Shitty, Expired Beer To People Who Live In The Midwest

Concerned Wisconsin Resident Determined To End 'Abusive' Company Strategy Of Selling Shitty, Expired Beer To People Who Live In The Midwest

Crawford County. After consuming two bottles of cheap wine and some tequila, smoking 3 packs of Marlboro Reds, and then relentlessly draining 28 cans of 'Natural Ice' beer, local resident, Brad Harvell, fell down on the front doorstep of his house b...

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Funny story: Valentine's Day Cards Withdrawn From Shelves In 'Porn' Row

Valentine's Day Cards Withdrawn From Shelves In 'Porn' Row

A series of Valentine's Day cards has had to be removed from the shelves of cardshops all across the country, after there were complaints from customers who said their content was "nothing short of pornographic". Valentine's Day, on February 14, i...

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Funny story: Adjectival Usage On The Increase

Adjectival Usage On The Increase

A study has shown that adjectival usage - the use of adjectives - is on the increase, and is likely to continue increasing until people stop using them quite so much. Results show that for the month of January, the use of adjectives on satirical n...

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Funny story: Noel Edmonds To Present New Series Of Swap Shop, Complete With Chunky, Knitted Sweaters

Noel Edmonds To Present New Series Of Swap Shop, Complete With Chunky, Knitted Sweaters

Former children's TV presenter, Noel Edmonds, who is now thought by many to be bordering on insane as a result of his severe overexposure to audiences, is believed to have been approached to host a brand new series of the Saturday early morning child...

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Funny story: Jussie Smollett Realizes It Was All A Big Mistake

Jussie Smollett Realizes It Was All A Big Mistake

Jussie Smollett, the former Empire actor, who recently staged a hoax hate crime againsy himself, in the hope of scoring some public sympathy points, has said that he now realizes he made a big mistake. Jussie, real name Justin, hired two Nigerian...

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Funny story: Covington Catholic High School Takes the Boredom Out of Washington D.C. Tours

Covington Catholic High School Takes the Boredom Out of Washington D.C. Tours

Covington, Kentucky - It's a common complaint among today's teens. In high school they are sometimes loaded onto buses to spend a day or two on tedious tours of our nation’s Capitol, to visit sites of historical interest such as the Washington Monum...

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Funny story: Man Excited for Super Bowl Ads He’ll Grow to Hate

Man Excited for Super Bowl Ads He’ll Grow to Hate

The Super Bowl is today, and millions of people will be tuned-in to see the debut of ads that they will grow to hate for the rest of the year. “Last year, I remember being giddy with excitement when I saw that Bud Knight commercial, but now, when...

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Funny story: Trump and Kim to share Nobel Peace Prize

Trump and Kim to share Nobel Peace Prize

We are pleased to pass along another report from the hacker group Dark Overbored, using wait-personnel in Hanoi at The Melia Hotel. At their private dinner, following hugs, handclasps, sighs, and beaming faces, the two leaders talked of how the be...

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Funny story: Giant Bee Discovery Is Breathtakingly Pointless, Scientists Told

Giant Bee Discovery Is Breathtakingly Pointless, Scientists Told

Scientists who re-discovered a giant bee on an Indonesian island, have been told their find is "breathtakingly pointless, stupid, and a complete waste of time. And money", by social commentator, Moys Kenwood. The bee, a Wallace's giant bee, (Megac...

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Funny story: Ozzie Osbourne Has Got A Frog In His Throat

Ozzie Osbourne Has Got A Frog In His Throat

Former Black Sabbath frontman, Ozzie Osbourne, has had to cancel a tour of Australia, New Zealand and Japan, after complications he experienced whilst trying to swallow a frog. Osbourne, 70, achieved notoriety in 1981, when he bit the head off a d...

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Funny story: Man Questions Life While Watching Alliance of American Football

Man Questions Life While Watching Alliance of American Football

A man questioned his choices in life while sitting alone on Saturday afternoon watching second-rate football on TV. “Where did I go wrong?” he asked himself. He wondered how he got to this point in his life where he is sitting at home on a beautif...

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Funny story: Trump to Star in Spaghetti Western Remakes

Trump to Star in Spaghetti Western Remakes

Italian film director Sergio Leone III, the grandson of the fabled creator of Spaghetti Westerns, and with a promising future in his own right, has signed Donald Trump to the Clint Eastwood role in the remakes of three 1960s classic Leone films. Trum...

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Funny story: Cardinal Pell Choir Boys Reached The High Notes

Cardinal Pell Choir Boys Reached The High Notes

Cardinal Pell, the 77-year-old sex offender, and former treasurer at the Vatican, has been remanded in custody for his own protection, after crowds gathered outside the courthouse in Melbourne. The demonstrators were threatening to do things to hi...

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Funny story: New York Woman’s Horoscope Exceeds Expectations

New York Woman’s Horoscope Exceeds Expectations

Craving guidance one Tuesday morning at work, Ellen Payne, a Gemini living in New York City, turned to her daily horoscope. Disappointingly, she found her general horoscope to be rather basic and vague, as was her love horoscope. But when she clicked...

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Funny story: Harlem Globetrotters In Row With The Spoof Over Logo

Harlem Globetrotters In Row With The Spoof Over Logo

The Harlem Globetrotters, the famous globetrotting basketball superstars from Harlem, who wowed fans in the 1970s with their crazy-but-skilful on-court antics, are considering taking legal action against the owner of a satirical news website over the...

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Funny story: New and Improved Version of Huggable "Vlad The Impaler" Doll to be Released in April

New and Improved Version of Huggable "Vlad The Impaler" Doll to be Released in April

Are teddy bears just not cutting it anymore? Does your heart need something more soothing to cuddle up with at night? The IMPALED Company is happy to announce that it will be releasing a new and improved version of the Huggable "Vlad The Impaler"...

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Funny story: Search For Ernest Shackleton Ship Abandoned After Everything Lost

Search For Ernest Shackleton Ship Abandoned After Everything Lost

A search for Sir Ernest Shackleton's ship, Endurance, lost in the icy floes of the Antarctic in 1915, has been called off after a piece of equipment critical to the search was also lost. After months of trying to survive in extreme conditions whe...

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Funny story: Man Vows He Has Written His Last President Trump Story

Man Vows He Has Written His Last President Trump Story

After coming in for some perceived light-hearted criticism over the repeated use of the outspoken US president, Donald Trump, as a topic to write about, a writer on a satirical news website has vowed that he has written his last President Trump story...

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Funny story: Trump Signs Executive Order Requiring all Nuclear Reactors To Run on Coal

Trump Signs Executive Order Requiring all Nuclear Reactors To Run on Coal

President Trump has signed an executive order with new Energy rules. The first is that all nuclear reactors must switch to coal as an energy source. Trump's new rules also require burning books to use for heat and energy, since, as Trump says, "n...

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Funny story: Nobody Turns Up To Watch Hull City v. Stoke City Match

Nobody Turns Up To Watch Hull City v. Stoke City Match

It's a sad fact that, for many football clubs, attendances are in decline, but nothing had prepared the management of one Championship team for what was in store for them yesterday, when ABSOLUTELY NOBODY turned up to watch Hull City take on Stoke Ci...

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Funny story: Pope Admits Catholic Church Is Now Like Something Out Of A Marquis de Sade Novel

Pope Admits Catholic Church Is Now Like Something Out Of A Marquis de Sade Novel

Pope Francis has admitted that there have been "grave errors" in the administration of affairs within the Catholic church down the years, and that, at times, things have resembled erotic scenarios and events such as the public might have read about i...

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Funny story: War on Insects edges closer to victory

War on Insects edges closer to victory

For millenia, humans have had to contend with annoying insects buzzing and biting and crawling amongst us. From wasp stings to spiders in the bath, from bed bugs to flies everywhere. Finally, the war is nearing an end. Reports from around the worl...

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Funny story: Super Bowl Bores Fans Rigid

Super Bowl Bores Fans Rigid

The New England Patriots overcame the Los Angeles Rams to become the Super Bowl victors for a record-equalling sixth time, in what was one of the most tedious matches of football many spectators could remember. The final result - 13-3 - tells the...

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Funny story: Boston University May Reclassify Major in "Economics"

Boston University May Reclassify Major in "Economics"

NEW YORK - The recent election of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for New York's 14th Congressional district has brought national attention to the role of politics in economic development. The Political Rock-Star "AOC" disrupted an astounding deal for Amazo...

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Funny story: Jussie Smollett Attack Shows Just How Difficult It Is To Be A Judge

Jussie Smollett Attack Shows Just How Difficult It Is To Be A Judge

A judge in Chicago has said that accusations that actor Jussie Smollett organised an attack against himself which was intended to look like a hate crime, show just how fucked up people in the US are, and how tricky it is to be a judge. Judge John...

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Funny story: Liam Neeson Quits Acting To Join Police

Liam Neeson Quits Acting To Join Police

Liam Neeson, the Hollywood actor superstar, the veteran of more than a hundred movies, and Oscar-nominee for his latest film 'Cold Pursuit', has announced his intention to quit the silver screen, and to join the police force. Neeson, 66, said that...

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Funny story: New York Woman Finds that Hot Water with Lemon Reduces Her Kinky Sexual Cravings

New York Woman Finds that Hot Water with Lemon Reduces Her Kinky Sexual Cravings

Kim Davis, a 32-year-old woman living in New York City, was thrilled to discover that hot water with a squeeze of lemon substantially ameliorated her kinky sexual cravings. "Who knew?" she said. Always sexually adventurous, Kim had been troubl...

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Funny story: Man Had Garden Fire That Very Nearly Went Wrong

Man Had Garden Fire That Very Nearly Went Wrong

Getting rid of the trash isn't easy, especially when there is no refuse collection service, but one man who decided to burn his rubbish in his garden was left ruing his decision, when the fire very nearly got out of hand. Moys Kenwood, 55, informe...

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Funny story: Mr. T Has Name Confiscated By White House

Mr. T Has Name Confiscated By White House

Mr. T, the larger-than-life former member of TV's 'The A-Team', is in dispute with President Donald Trump and his White House staff, after having his name confiscated, so that the president is the only 'Mr. T' in people's minds. T, real name Laure...

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Funny story: Cell phone found in puddle shows Guaido confused but ready for more input from US

Cell phone found in puddle shows Guaido confused but ready for more input from US

Mr. Guaido’s cell phone and its lengthy texting found in a rain swamp yesterday has been confirmed as deriving from the self-proclaimed leader of Venezuela. The phone might have been flung into the puddle during a tempestuous moment in relations w...

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Funny story: Freezing Chicago Fireman Hoping for Nice, Warm Neighborhood Fire

Freezing Chicago Fireman Hoping for Nice, Warm Neighborhood Fire

As Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Illinois continue to struggle with the polar vortex cold snap, people are trying to come up with imaginative and often unorthodox ways to stay warm in sub-zero temperatures. A member of the Chicago fire brigade has co...

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Funny story: Dictators Club Meets Again-Guess Who the Main Topic Was?

Dictators Club Meets Again-Guess Who the Main Topic Was?

Moscow, Russia Vlad Putin once again hosted a meeting of the World Dictators. The main rule to be a member is you must be the head of a country rated “Not Free” by the Freedom House. Presently, there are 50 qualifiers, some more famous like Daniel O...

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Funny story: Local Man, Billions in Debt, Succeeds in Convincing Bank Manager to Stop Raising Interest Rates by Threatening to Fire Him

Local Man, Billions in Debt, Succeeds in Convincing Bank Manager to Stop Raising Interest Rates by Threatening to Fire Him

Washington - A local man residing on Pennsylvania Avenue, who owns dozens of business entities with billions in loans outstanding, has convinced the manager at a Washington area bank to stop the practice of raising interest rates on the loans to a "n...

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Funny story: Video Discovered of Wayans Brothers in Shocking 2004 White Face Incident

Video Discovered of Wayans Brothers in Shocking 2004 White Face Incident

Hollywood - Local news outlets have discovered a disturbing 15-year-old video, clearly showing Shawn and Marlon Wayans, famous comedians and movie directors, wearing "white face" costumes during the filming of one of their movies. The duo could...

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Funny story: New York Musician Hopes His Fake Humility Holds Up on Television

New York Musician Hopes His Fake Humility Holds Up on Television

New York singer-songwriter Bryce Beaumont was privileged and honored to have been invited to appear on a wildly popular late-night talk show and only hopes that the songs he shares with the audience bring them joy and inspiration, and that his fake h...

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Funny story: Police Car Chase Was Strictly In Accordance With Traffic Laws

Police Car Chase Was Strictly In Accordance With Traffic Laws

A police car involved in a daring high-speed chase with another car that had been stolen by criminals last night, was driven completely in accordance with the rules of the road, as specified within the UK Traffic Laws. The 'chase', in Peckham, Lon...

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Funny story: New Floor Cleaning Machine With 12-Inch, Debris-Expelling Chute Leaves Factory Workers Extremely Pissed Off

New Floor Cleaning Machine With 12-Inch, Debris-Expelling Chute Leaves Factory Workers Extremely Pissed Off

Michigan. Employees at Woodland National Decking Products were incredibly aggravated last Monday after the company tested out a newly-purchased, industrial 'floor cleaning machine' with a foot-long chute for expelling debris. As a heavily-inspect...

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Funny story: Wild pig bites Venezuelan model’s rear end; blames Maduro and CNN

Wild pig bites Venezuelan model’s rear end; blames Maduro and CNN

This latest savage attack on a female derriere has appalled the world. Shockwaves are being reported across the female rear-view fashion industry (with guarantees no design changes will reveal less). At this time fashion Model Michelle Lewin...

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Funny story: African hangman sacked after 'dropping' asleep on the job!

African hangman sacked after 'dropping' asleep on the job!

Dangling on African gallows can sometimes be a 'lifesaver' because hangmen in many African countries are demanding their midday nap and higher pay! One African country has now re-introduced the guillotine to stop dangling, dastardly poachers, crim...

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Funny story: Vatican to Release New Bible in Modernized Latin

Vatican to Release New Bible in Modernized Latin

VATICAN, ROME - Pope Francis plans to publish a "Modern and Scientific Bible for the World." However, it will be written entirely in Latin, because ... that's what the Catholic Church does. Inside sources say His Holiness has spent over a year on thi...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Sees a Sign and Transforms His Life

Nashville Man Sees a Sign and Transforms His Life

Cody Gray of Nashville, Tennessee, had an unfortunate habit of having just a little - okay, a lot – too much to drink and then recklessly driving himself home. He’d never had an accident or been stopped by the police, but in the back of his mind, he...

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Funny story: Mexican Drug Cartels Designated as Health Care Providers

Mexican Drug Cartels Designated as Health Care Providers

WASHINGTON DC - Now that the Democrat-controlled US Congress has passed a "Budget", Mexican Drug Cartels may be able to provide "Health Care Services" without fear of criminal charges and time in prison. With the support of many, many lobbyists and p...

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Funny story: Introvert Successfully Avoids Eye Contact at Workplace for Over Three Years

Introvert Successfully Avoids Eye Contact at Workplace for Over Three Years

Through sheer grit and the strategic use of headphones, New York introvert Matthew Lister successfully managed to avoid making eye contact with anyone at his workplace for over three years, before transitioning to a remote position. Matthew wasn't...

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Funny story: Janesville Resident Hopes To Keep Diarrhea After Making Some Necessary Lifestyle Changes

Janesville Resident Hopes To Keep Diarrhea After Making Some Necessary Lifestyle Changes

Rock County, Wisconsin. Doug Marten, 56, knew it was time to make some serious lifestyle changes after he fainted at work last week on Tuesday at 5:45 pm. With nearly 25 years of excessive caffeine consumption, chain smoking, unhealthy eating, and...

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Funny story: "Somebody Just Fucking Died, and You Will Never See Them Again" Not a Phrase Likely to Replace "Celebration of Life" at Funeral Services

"Somebody Just Fucking Died, and You Will Never See Them Again" Not a Phrase Likely to Replace "Celebration of Life" at Funeral Services

A new study released by the International Institution of Profoundly Good, Superior, and Extremely Wonderful Information released a confidential report last Thursday indicating that the harsh realities of life will continually be covered up by lies, d...

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Funny story: Trump Playing With Tiny Toy Soldiers Guarding Tiny Wall on His Desk

Trump Playing With Tiny Toy Soldiers Guarding Tiny Wall on His Desk

Some say he is spending his executive time watching TV. Some say he is tweeting. There’s been a lot of speculation about the ways in which the President of the United States spends his unstructured, “executive time”. The whole thing would’ve rema...

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Funny story: Man Got Sore Throat - Just Like Ozzie Osbourne

Man Got Sore Throat - Just Like Ozzie Osbourne

A man who contributed a story to a satirical news website, about rock singer Ozzie Osbourne getting a sore throat and having to cancel a tour to Australia, New Zealand and Japan, has come down with the very same condition, and can barely raise a croa...

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Funny story: Lottery Winner Gives Up Mansion In Florida And Moves To The Midwest To Fulfill Life-Long Dream Of Working In A Library

Lottery Winner Gives Up Mansion In Florida And Moves To The Midwest To Fulfill Life-Long Dream Of Working In A Library

Claiming that he was "sick and tired" of gorgeous, scantily-clad women surrounding him all the time, beer, expensive wine, outstanding restaurant food, open bars with cool ocean breezes flowing through them, and endless romantic evenings on the beach...

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Funny story: Man Is Addicted To Tea

Man Is Addicted To Tea

A man who likes drinking tea has told friends that he so much likes drinking tea, that he fears he is now addicted to it. Myke Woodson has been drinking tea since he was around 4 years old, starting with a single brew after his evening meal - iron...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Accidentally Dropped by God

Nashville Man Accidentally Dropped by God

The survivor of a traumatic childhood involving physical abuse by an alcoholic father and the suicide death of his revered older brother when he was just a teen, 36-year-old Josiah Dickerson of Nashville, Tennessee, took great comfort in the belief t...

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Funny story: Man Saw Shirt He Quite Liked In Charity Shop Window

Man Saw Shirt He Quite Liked In Charity Shop Window

A man walking around a city center shopping district saw a shirt he really liked in a shop window display, but hesitated to go in and buy it when he realized it was a charity shop. Myke Woodson, 53, was browsing in Hull when he happened to notice...

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Funny story: Nashville Pig Declines to Be Featured in BBQ Restaurant Logo

Nashville Pig Declines to Be Featured in BBQ Restaurant Logo

A pig named Pete made waves recently when he declined a potentially lucrative opportunity to be featured in the logo for Nashville hot spot Happy Hog BBQ, despite admittedly not having an alternative source of income. Pete was reportedly immune to...

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Funny story: Blackface Jibe As Don Trump Jr Beard Microblading Fails

Blackface Jibe As Don Trump Jr Beard Microblading Fails

New York, NYC - President Trump’s son Donald Jr is in the doghouse, a Downtown tattooist said today, after pics of his disastrous beard microblading cock-up went viral on the web. Trump Jr, 69, had sought treatment for an embarrassing bald patch w...

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Funny story: No 10 Rose Garden Wedding This Summer For New UK PM Boris Johnson

No 10 Rose Garden Wedding This Summer For New UK PM Boris Johnson

London, UK - (Riotous): Tory Party compost heap gardeners are readying to bed down Downing Street’s half acre of splendid floribunda hybrid tease in anticipation of a summer wedding according to The Spoof’s man-with-the-hoe. The new follows recen...

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Funny story: Climbing Equipment Shops Now Opening On Mexican Border

Climbing Equipment Shops Now Opening On Mexican Border

Several shops selling climbing equipment have opened in close proximity to the US/Mexico border, the Spoof understands. The shops are small units, but are well-stocked with a variety of professional climbing attire and tools. Amongst other items,...

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Funny story: Spike Lee's Grandmother To Be Investigated By IRS For Social Security Fraud

Spike Lee's Grandmother To Be Investigated By IRS For Social Security Fraud

Oscar-winning director Spike Lee's grandmother is set to be investigated for social security fraud after the startling revelation that she defrauded the US Government for 50 years. Lee, declared on live television, during his acceptance speech, th...

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Funny story: Man's Wife Cut His Hair, With An Outcome That Was Less Than Satisfactory

Man's Wife Cut His Hair, With An Outcome That Was Less Than Satisfactory

Bangkok, Thailand - A man who allowed his wife to cut his hair was left ruing his decision today, after the enterprise went disastrously wrong, and had to be put right by a visit to someone who knew what he was doing. Moys Kenwood, 51, of Bangpako...

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Funny story: Jussie Smollett Update: Trump Supporters Shocked at Spectacle of Entertainer Lying to the Public

Jussie Smollett Update: Trump Supporters Shocked at Spectacle of Entertainer Lying to the Public

Chicago - Television star Jussie Smollett was arrested Thursday and charged with lying to the public and law enforcement about an alleged attack which two brothers from Nigeria apparently helped him set up. Reaction was swift from the people on so...

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Funny story: Fox News Apologizes to Viewers After Accidentally Reporting a Crime Committed by U.S. Citizen

Fox News Apologizes to Viewers After Accidentally Reporting a Crime Committed by U.S. Citizen

Washington - Fox News commentator, Tucker Carlson, admitted on-air to outraged viewers, that one of the violent crimes reported by the network involved a suspect actually born in the United States. “We have worked diligently to keep our viewers in...

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Funny story: Dollis Hill Residents Branded ‘Garbage’, ‘Nazis’ & Now ‘Perverts’

Dollis Hill Residents Branded ‘Garbage’, ‘Nazis’ & Now ‘Perverts’

Dollis Hill, Isle of Dogs - (Barking): “It’s just local estate agents talking up the neighbourhood,” a reporter on the North London Argus Bargus said today after the property column published its annual report about the leafy residential enclave of...

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Funny story: Cardinal Pell Is Going Down

Cardinal Pell Is Going Down

Cardinal George Pell and his sexual abuse case have attracted a lot of media attention, and it is with this in mind that I've written the latest in my proposed 'Cardinal Pell Anthology'. This one is called 'Cardinal Pell Is Going Down' Cardina...

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Funny story: Wall Opponents Demonstrate and Show Their Hate of Walls

Wall Opponents Demonstrate and Show Their Hate of Walls

Opponents of a national wall on the U.S.-Mexico Border had a giant demonstration yesterday. Fueling the crowd, a bonfire was started using "The Wall" albums by Pink Floyd and Wall Street Journals. Videotapes of "The Wolf of Wall Street," Wall Street"...

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Funny story: Don’t Worry About Missing Sex Files, Pope Is Told, Bob Mueller Has A Copy

Don’t Worry About Missing Sex Files, Pope Is Told, Bob Mueller Has A Copy

Rome, Italy - (Reuters): “Phew, Your Eminence,” the Pontifical Attorney for the Holy Spanish Inquisition said today as a Vatican conference on sex abuse ‘laughed itself silly’ on hearing the Pope’s predecessors had systematically destroyed abuse arc...

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Funny story: Islamic Sharia Law Would Make Luton England's Capital

Islamic Sharia Law Would Make Luton England's Capital

A government investigation into the activities of some branches of the Islamic faith in the UK, has turned up information that, in the event of a total Moslemisation of the country, and the adoption of Sharia Law, Luton, and not London, would be the...

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Funny story: Scamatology Recruits Religious Groups from All Over the Universe to Protest A & E Broadcasts

Scamatology Recruits Religious Groups from All Over the Universe to Protest A & E Broadcasts

Clearly Mental, FL The Cult of Scamatology has been gathering religious groups from all over to protest with them what they are calling "great religious oppression." This started when the A&E Network ran programs exposing corruption, religiou...

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Funny story: Nike Shoe Destroyed as Illuminati Ascend in Power

Nike Shoe Destroyed as Illuminati Ascend in Power

RALEIGH, NC - In a college basketball game between Duke University and the University of North Carolina, one of the Next-Generation shoes "exploded" while being worn by Zion Williamson. Adding to the shock, President Barack Obama attended the game, a...

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Funny story: Neurologist Recommends Wall for Trump’s Borderline Personality

Neurologist Recommends Wall for Trump’s Borderline Personality

While many assertions have been made regarding United States President Donald Trump's mental state, neurologist Donald Fraser, M.D., has proposed an actual solution: a neuro-physical wall to protect the internal boundaries of Trump’s borderline perso...

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Funny story: Looking for input on credibility crisis Trump ends up in dark alley with ladies of the evening

Looking for input on credibility crisis Trump ends up in dark alley with ladies of the evening

Following tight-lipped, blank denials from White House staff, details are finally emerging on Mr. Trump’s recent trials with his credibility rating. According to polls, the President’s popularity is sliding at 53% disapproval, with credibility a m...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Learns to Sweat the Big Stuff

Nashville Man Learns to Sweat the Big Stuff

Laid-back Joey Cobb of Nashville, Tennessee, prided himself on not sweating the small stuff – and especially enjoyed injecting the additional caveat, “And it’s all small stuff.” Not so, Joey later came to learn. Unbeknownst to Joey, his wife, Liz,...

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Funny story: Super Bowl Set For A Frenzy Of 'Knee-Taking'

Super Bowl Set For A Frenzy Of 'Knee-Taking'

Super Bowl 53 kicks off at 6:30pm (eastern time) this evening, and, aside from all the excitement over the occasion itself, there's massive interest over the prospect of all the players from both teams 'taking the knee' during the playing of the nati...

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Funny story: Donald Trump Still Focused On As Comedians and Writers Continue To Lose Artistic Value

Donald Trump Still Focused On As Comedians and Writers Continue To Lose Artistic Value

With the days of Chevy Chase making fun of Gerald Ford on Saturday Night Live long gone (along with other famous comedy legends like Bill Hicks, Chris Farley, Richard Pryor, Sam Kinison, Rodney Dangerfield, Robin Williams, and George Carlin) unpaid '...

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Funny story: Pope Francis to Allow Masturbation, But Only Among Priests and Only with Biblically-themed Porn

Pope Francis to Allow Masturbation, But Only Among Priests and Only with Biblically-themed Porn

THE VATICAN—Pope Francis, in his new encyclical Masturbationes Licit, has now opened the practice of masturbation to some, but not all, Catholics. Said Pope Francis, “Given that our esteemed clergy appear to have—how do you say?—too much unrequited...

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Funny story: Things Getting Tight for Attention

Things Getting Tight for Attention

For generations, thanks to regular reminders to pay him, Attention had been doing quite well for himself. These days, though, amidst a flood of social media, smart phones, and infinite other distractions, no one’s paying Attention much – and he's be...

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Funny story: New TV series to go where most shows have gone before

New TV series to go where most shows have gone before

Hollyweird, Californicate – For five or six months now, the world has waited, with bated breath, to learn just how Jordy Pee will handle the reboot of Rod Sterling's iconic television series The Dusky Region. Well, we need wait and wonder no longe...

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