Pope Francis has admitted that there have been "grave errors" in the administration of affairs within the Catholic church down the years, and that, at times, things have resembled erotic scenarios and events such as the public might have read about in a Marquis de Sade novel.
For example, 'Justine'.
Or in 'Venus In Furs' by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.
Or 'Delta In Venus' by Anaïs Nin
You get the idea.
"Indeed," said the Pope, "we might also add to that list of filth, the Solomon Northup novel, 'Twelve Years A Slave', when discussing how the church has treated its nuns."
His pathetic papalness spoke of the obscene acts of degradation visited upon members of its ranks down the centuries, cloistered away from the eyes of a hungry public who would have loved the opportunity to have joined in.
He winked, and said:
"We're working on it."
NOTE: In the interests of good taste, Child Abuse has been left out of this report. Until now.