Man Questions Life While Watching Alliance of American Football

Written by Dave Henry

Saturday, 16 February 2019

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Where did I go wrong?”

A man questioned his choices in life while sitting alone on Saturday afternoon watching second-rate football on TV.

“Where did I go wrong?” he asked himself. He wondered how he got to this point in his life where he is sitting at home on a beautiful Saturday afternoon watching the fledgling Alliance of American Football (AAF) on TV.

“This is really pathetic,” he said during the commercial break of the Birmingham Iron against the Salt Lake Stallions game. “These are all NFL rejects or players who will never even make the NFL, and I’m wasting away hours watching them play. What does that say about me?”

He feels like he should go to the gym, but he hasn’t been to the gym in 35 years, so that might not be viable. Walks bore him. He might read his book, but the silence scares him.

“I could try to think of something mildly amusing to write about for a spoof website, but nothing even remotely amusing is coming to mind,” he said.

He thought about watching a movie, but he just saw the Queen movie the other night, and there are no other movies he wants to see. And he can’t watch Game of Thrones, because he has to wait to watch it with his wife.

“I think I need help,” he said to himself. “This is not how one is supposed to spend one's life, sitting alone watching second-rate football on TV.”

“Oh wait,” he said switching the channel to golf. “Golf is on.”

“Never mind.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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