London, UK - (Riotous): Tory Party compost heap gardeners are readying to bed down Downing Street’s half acre of splendid floribunda hybrid tease in anticipation of a summer wedding according to The Spoof’s man-with-the-hoe.
The new follows recent TV coverage highlighting how great big steaming piles of well rotted Remoaner detritus are already mulching down No 10’s prized cultivars as ex-Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson prepares his move.
Johnson, 54, has ditched his leftie QC wife Marina following decades of bickering about her myriad affairs.
Pals of the former Foreign Sec say he is already engaged to stunning English Rose Ms Carrie Symonds, a natural blonde of formidable communication skills nearly 25 years younger than her besotted beau.
The couple have remained largely under the radar during amid reported tense stand-offs between respective divorce lawyers as the current Mrs Johnson vies for her pound of flash.
Commenting on the upcoming nuptials Royal Parks gardener Monty Don Giovanni said a formal burial patch at this year’s Chelsea Flower Show is ‘being prepared for current PM Theresa May’s remains’.
A July 4th wedding for US-born Johnson and Symonds will be Downing Street’s first.