Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 19 February 2019

image for Ozzie Osbourne Has Got A Frog In His Throat
He'll try anything once. Or twice...

Former Black Sabbath frontman, Ozzie Osbourne, has had to cancel a tour of Australia, New Zealand and Japan, after complications he experienced whilst trying to swallow a frog.

Osbourne, 70, achieved notoriety in 1981, when he bit the head off a dove, and in 1982, when he removed the head of a bat by the same method.

The Birmingham rocker, known as the Prince of Darkness, has also been known to bite the heads of sparrows in his garden, a hamster, two rats, a stoat, some chickens at a West Midlands farm, a duck, a goose, and he made a damned good attempt at a badger.

On Monday, however, after eating a bowl of Coco Pops and milk, followed by 'a quantity of beer', Osbourne spied a frog hopping over his back lawn, and didn't take long to make his mind up.

A minute later, he was back inside the kitchen, but, from then on, things went awry, as they have a habit of doing with Ozzie. The frog, not waiting for the singer's teeth, hopped straight down his throat, and started croaking.

Ozzie was unable to comment, but his wife, Sharon, famous in her own right, for being Ozzie's wife, said:

"He's a bit croaky today. He probably should've bit its head off first!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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