Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 6 February 2019

image for Liam Neeson Quits Acting To Join Police
Neeson earlier with his cosh

Liam Neeson, the Hollywood actor superstar, the veteran of more than a hundred movies, and Oscar-nominee for his latest film 'Cold Pursuit', has announced his intention to quit the silver screen, and to join the police force.

Neeson, 66, said that he had enjoyed much success in showbusiness, but felt it was time to move on, and that he had much to offer law and order.

The star, who portrayed Oskar Schindler in the Steven Spielberg epic, 'Schindler's Lifts', admitted that, at his age, law enforcement was a challenging role, but said:

"Acting has been very rewarding, and I've become rich. I've become so rich, in fact, that I feel that people should listen to me on the wider stage when I start to spout off about stuff."

He went on:

"I have my cosh, and am ready to do my duty, to protect and serve. Especially white women who are raped. Especially them."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more