Nobody Turns Up To Watch Hull City v. Stoke City Match

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 3 February 2019

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Hull's lowest crowd ever

It's a sad fact that, for many football clubs, attendances are in decline, but nothing had prepared the management of one Championship team for what was in store for them yesterday, when ABSOLUTELY NOBODY turned up to watch Hull City take on Stoke City at the KCOM Stadium.

The game finished in a 2-0 victory for the hosts, but this paled into insignificance against the backdrop of empty seats.

The KCOM atmosphere has been unfavorably compared, by many fans, to that of a library, but even a library is populated by a few people, albeit in relative quiet.

The current state of the relationship between the Tigers' unpopular owners, the Allams, and the club's fans, seems to have sunk to its lowest level yet with yesterday's 'stay-away', and the eagerly-awaited departure of the Egyptian duo can't come soon enough for many Hull supporters.

Hull coach, Nigel Adkins, said:

"It was disappointing to see nobody turn up, but, in fairness, they didn't miss much. It's true, Stoke aren't much of an attraction, and it was a bit dour, but three points is three points. Hopefully, a few more will turn up against Rotherham."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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