Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 23 February 2019

image for Jussie Smollett Diagnosed As Color Blind
A complete brainfuck for Smollett

Jussie Smollett, the African-American former star of the TV series 'Empire', has suffered a another setback today, after he was diagnosed as color blind, by me.

Smollett isn't just borderline color blind, either.

The star, who was paid $65,000 per episode for his part in the show, thought this wasn't enough, however, and used some of it to pay two black men - who he thought were white men - to 'beat him up', in order to publicize himself, and attract public sympathy.

This plan went badly wrong when the real color of the men was discovered.

Smollett now receives $0 per episode.

Color blindness is a condition that is present in about 8% of the US male population, but is usually found where there is a problem discerning red and green, but this is the first known case of someone being unable to distinguish between black and white.

His color-blindness isn't the only disability he from which he suffers

He also doesn't know which day of the week it is, when he's onto a good thing, which way to turn, and, in a test, didn't know his arse from his elbow.

Smollett's attorney says the forlorn 'star' is now due to audition for a major part in 'The All-New Muppet Movie'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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