Islamic Sharia Law Would Make Luton England's Capital

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 5 February 2019

image for Islamic Sharia Law Would Make Luton England's Capital
What do you think of Islam so far?

A government investigation into the activities of some branches of the Islamic faith in the UK, has turned up information that, in the event of a total Moslemisation of the country, and the adoption of Sharia Law, Luton, and not London, would be the capital city of England.

This, despite that fact that Luton is a town, not a city.

Luton has a high population of practising Muslims, along with a large number of mosques - 26 at the last count - and would be a natural choice for the seat of government.

In the 2001 census, 26,963 Muslims were to be found living in Luton; by 2011, this figure had leapt to 49,991. This, out of a total of 203,201 residents. It's not clear how high the 2021 figure will be.

Luton is just 26 miles from London, and has its own airport just 1.5 miles from the town center - handy if you need to make a quick getaway to 'foreign parts'.

The report found that Muslims preferred Luton to other British-white-minority locations, such as Leicester and Slough, and to London, due to the community closeness and spirit evident there, and the friendliness of non-Muslims towards Muslims and their religion.

But not everyone is happy. Some people interviewed said they were thinking of moving out of Luton, because of the way it's been 'conquered' by Islam.

On a lighter note, the town's football team, Luton Town, was once represented, on its board of directors, by the brilliant comedian, Eric Morecambe, whose catchphrase "What do you think of it so far?", was always answered by himself, out of the corner of his mouth:


He would not have been impressed.

But one social commentator said:

"Who can say which people can live in a place, and which cannot? Who has the right to do so? Only the strongest. If people live together in harmony, and the society, or community, flourishes, all is well. If it does not, the Society, itself, will take maters into its own hands, and will decide what is best for the Society. This is Natural Law."

Another man, Moys Kenwood, 55, said:

"Can't see it happening, meself. The town is a rundown 1960s sort of place, and the shops are all crap."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more