Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Saturday, 9 February 2019

image for Fly-Face Pelosi Explains Trump Clapback: “Was Actually Zapping A Fly”
Fly-Face

BILLINGSGATE POST: Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. Everyone in the Beltway knows that Nancy Pelosi hates to be called “Fly-Face.” But for years she has had to wear an ACME Bug-Zapper around her neck to keep those nasty pests off her face.

The Bug-Zapper was first used by Felixweather Limpp, the original Fly-Face. This portable electric device was one of the most important inventions patented by the ACME Corporation. Anyone who has watched Road Runner cartoons most probably remembers the ACME Anvil. Although never successfully deployed by Wile E Coyote in his attacks on the Road Runner, nevertheless, the anvil still lives in infamy among those who root for Wile E Coyote to dethrone the Road Runner.

Like Pelosi, Fly-Face suffered from poor personal hygiene which resulted in his face being constantly surrounded by swarms of flies. For Pelosi to tacitly admit that she has a problem with her own hygiene is a gesture that most in the Beltway would not identify with.

During the State of the Union speech by President Trump, much was made of Pelosi’s controversial clapback in Trump’s face. Some cynics suggest that Pelosi was pimping Trump. However, when the House Speaker was later interviewed by the BILLINGSGATE POST’s intrepid reporter, Slim Everdingle, she said that she was showing the President a fly she had personally zapped. Explaining that the Secret Service would not allow her to wear the electric Bug-Zapper around her neck for security reasons, she had zapped the fly with her own bare hands and wanted to show Trump her captured prey.

NOTE: All names excepting Felixweather Limpp have been changed to protect the innocent.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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