Trump and Kim to share Nobel Peace Prize

Written by joseph k winter

Wednesday, 27 February 2019

image for Trump and Kim to share Nobel Peace Prize
Mr. Kim to be invited to Mar al Lago soon for a repeat performance

We are pleased to pass along another report from the hacker group Dark Overbored, using wait-personnel in Hanoi at The Melia Hotel.

At their private dinner, following hugs, handclasps, sighs, and beaming faces, the two leaders talked of how the beginnings of their bromance nearly led to war.

Millions could have perished. "Ah, those angry tongues . . ."

But recent breakthroughs into dialogue, instead of automatic hatred, saved world peace!

Some time later, observers in white tuxedos bringing the dishes noted strain had developed. Red faces and agitated shoulders had replaced the smiles.

Mr. Kim felt that he was the one who should receive The Nobel Prize, given that he had gone out on a limb to start denuclearizing and talking sweet to South Korea.

Whereas the US had done little so far except suspend those annoying military exercises.

But Mr. Trump responded, “No, no, no. You must understand. I’m here to kick off the 2020 election, and that means I need something really warm and happy here.”

A pause, while everybody at the table, including waiters leaning in to take plates, waited with bated breath.

“As with getting myself The Nobel Prize.”

Mr. Kim replied: “Well, then, what about an armistice finally, and the end of the Korean War?”

Some observers thought a tiny snake slithered out of his left ear with this response.

Indeed, analysts suggest the Koreas may be playing a long game against the instant-ego needs of Mr. Trump and his cabinet (plus the possibility of their exit in 2020).

“Well,” Mr. Trump said, “surely that’s enough glory for you, isn’t it?”

But Mr. Kim responded he had asked Ms. Merkel of Germany to nominate him for The Prize.

Mr. Trump confessed he had asked Japan’s Mr. Abe (currently denying he made a recommendation) with the same request.

Then . . .

The two friends laughed and embraced again to resounding chuckles and sighs amongst all personnel surrounding.

Issue resolved! Yes, the joint nomination idea! Both would receive The Prize!

Analysts now suggest, however, Mr. Trump did not intend to keep this agreement.

Adding or dropping sanctions (bargaining) would surely bring Mr. Kim around to withdrawing his name in the next few weeks.

Then, following dinner, Mr. Kim gave one of his celebrated night club performances, with Mr. Trump as Guest of Honor.

Mr. Kim’s “song of the evening” was dedicated to his special friend, Mr. Donald Trump!

The standing ovation at this point lasted five minutes. Finally, Mr. Kim settled down at the keys.

My funny valentine
Sweet little valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your face is laughable
Your hair not passable
But you’re my favorite loony part
Is your body far too fat
And your brain a tad too small
When you open up to speak
Are you smaaart?
But don’t change one hair for me
Keep that golden wig for me
Stay little Valentine’s . . . stay
Each day is Valentine’s day . . .

Mr. Kim sang these lyrics in Korean, and Mr. Trump did not bother to read the translation.

Smiles and warm fuzzy feelings continued throughout the evening.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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