Zombie deer disease sweeping US and Canada originated at political rally with Sarah Sanders

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Saturday, 9 February 2019

image for Zombie deer disease sweeping US and Canada originated at political rally with Sarah Sanders
"We are mighty sorry we may have to give up watching CNN"

Health authorities are now warning that instead of CWD (chronic wasting disease) spreading to humans, it derives from humans.

Known as “zombie deer disease” in its current form, recent news has warned of animals such as deer, elk, and moose behaving strangely, much as with “mad-cow-disease” previously.

Earlier, the problem was that deer hunters might end up with infected meat, hence taking on the disease themselves.

Recent scientific updates, however, suggest the opposite paradigm.

The animals’ brains have become “adulterated” due to their increasing anxiety while observing humans—particularly with political behavior.

There is evidently some alarm running in animal communication networks that humans at this stage of evolution are entirely out of control regarding survival and planet health.

Elk and moose specifically, for example, have been told to avoid watching television through available human windows and storefronts.

CWD (and “zombie deer disease”) infects brain and spinal cord through malignant proteins in bodily fluids.

Behaviors include weight loss, confusion, aggression, the vacant stare, wandering in repetitive patterns, and ultimate breakdown.

Most significant, however, is new evidence that origins of this outbreak started with Sarah Sanders at a political rally in Minnesota for Mr. Trump.

It was there she first began to suggest The Divinity had somehow been instrumental in bringing Mr. Trump to service in rescuing America from the Democrats.

Highly notable right after this event was how a number of people at the rally began to move in repetitive circles with the vacant stare complex.

Scientists have no comment on this possible connection to the deity, not yet having studied suspect prions (infected proteins) in persons at the rally.

Religious authorities have weighed in (although anonymously) to suggest Ms. Sanders may be responsible.

That is, she may have inadvertently brought on the epidemic with her comment on the Divinity’s selection of Mr. Trump as His Messenger.

“Presuming to speak for The Lord,” one of these anonymous authorities has proclaimed, “may have engendered His Wrath."

However, Mr. Trump has responded: “Look, on this CWD thing? There is nothing chronic and wasting about this administration, okay?”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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