Karl Lagerfeld Cat To Make Changes To Brand

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 21 February 2019

image for Karl Lagerfeld Cat To Make Changes To Brand
A man carrying a huge fuckoff cat

The death of German fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld on Tuesday, and the subsequent revelations about his will, might well mean huge changes ahead for the Lagerfeld empire.

Lagerfeld, 85, left his $200million fashion empire entirely in the hands of his cat, Choupette, in what some critics have said is:

"absolutely crazy".

But, Choupette already has her own fortune from modelling, and is no stranger to large sums of money. She miaowed earlier:

"It's nice that Karl left me in a comfortable position, and I do appreciate him taking care of me for all those years. Everything comes to an end, however, and it's now time to move on. That's life, I'm afraid."

Speaking about the future of the Lagerfeld empire, Choupette said:

"It's no biggie. I've been with the great man for a number of years, and I pretty much know the game by now. There are a few aesthetic changes I'd like to make - nothing too dramatic - and I think we can make the brand even better than it already is. I'll be speaking to the designers about the way forward from here."

But some fashion experts have been critical of Herr Lagerfeld's decision to leave high-fashion in the paws of a cat. One said:

"It's a catastrophic, cataclysmic, categorical catalogue of catering to a cat."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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