Jussie Smollett Realizes It Was All A Big Mistake

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 23 February 2019

image for Jussie Smollett Realizes It Was All A Big Mistake
A black man in a white suit, or a white man in a black suit, Mr Smollett?

Jussie Smollett, the former Empire actor, who recently staged a hoax hate crime againsy himself, in the hope of scoring some public sympathy points, has said that he now realizes he made a big mistake.

Jussie, real name Justin, hired two Nigerian black guys to play the parts of two white guys, and to pretend to beat him up a bit.

This may seem strange, and is.

He then claimed that two white guys did this, 'that and the other' to him, from a white perspective, which then involved the police, and the internet. Things were already starting to spin out of his control.

When the black guys started to talk about events, however, the plan started to unravel. Forgetting to ask them not to talk about the arrangement, seems to have been his second mistake.

Then Mr. Smollett's attorney, Bob Shitt, showed up, and spoke on his behalf, as they tend to do, even defending murderers they know are guilty. Shitt made the mistake of swimming, salmon-like, against the tide, and calling claims that his client had fabricated the whole incident "despicable".

Smollett, speaking on his own behalf, said:

"I now realize I made a terrible mistake. There's really no excuse. Poor preparation is a recipe for a poor result. I'll plan things better next time."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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