Written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 21 February 2019

image for African hangman sacked after 'dropping' asleep on the job!
Yet another perfect solution to replace exhausted African hangmen! They do it for peanuts!!

Dangling on African gallows can sometimes be a 'lifesaver' because hangmen in many African countries are demanding their midday nap and higher pay!

One African country has now re-introduced the guillotine to stop dangling, dastardly poachers, criminals, rapists, etc, being saved because their hangmen can never get the job done in time and need a nap in-between hangings!

As for the lucky ones who do not drop through gallows' holes, they are reprieved because African religious leaders are convinced it is either voodoo or an act of God. So, the ones who survive a midday nap are treated as redeemed devils instead of evil sinners.

Lining up criminals in front of a firing squad is regarded as too brutal and many African states cannot afford the bullets. Another alternative is offering ISIS scoundrels in Syria a pardon because they are very efficient at 'head-removing', but they are demanding hard $US bucks with board, lodgings, and 72 virgins!.

The French, superior guillotine builders, are sending experts to many African countries in the form of humanitarian help, in other words they don't cost a Euro cent, to ease the exhausting lives of hangmen. In addition, modern guillotines are remote controlled, so all they have to is 'push the button'!

So, if you are sentenced to 'dangle' in an African country, forget any form of 'cats lives scenarios' and redemption from above because the French, supported by the EU, are sending humanitarian help to rid Africa of its vermin...

I wish I could say I made this up, but sometimes the real news is stranger than spoof!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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