Noel Edmonds To Present New Series Of Swap Shop, Complete With Chunky, Knitted Sweaters

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 16 February 2019

image for Noel Edmonds To Present New Series Of Swap Shop, Complete With Chunky, Knitted Sweaters
01 811 8055

Former children's TV presenter, Noel Edmonds, who is now thought by many to be bordering on insane as a result of his severe overexposure to audiences, is believed to have been approached to host a brand new series of the Saturday early morning children's favourite, Multi-Coloured Swap Shop.

The show, which ran for 6 years between 1976 and 1982, was actually called 'Multi-Coloured Swap Shop', but, as the show became entrenched in the country's psyche, this was shortened to 'Swap Shop'.

Indeed, the BBC announcer would sometimes introduce the show by saying:

"And now, it's time for Noel Edmonds' Multi-Coloured Swap Shop".

This was misleading, however, as, although Edmonds really was the face of Swap Shop, the show was as much about Keith 'Cheggers' Chegwin, as it was about the studio-based beardo, who would go on to further 'success' with 'Noel's House Party', 'Deal Or No Deal', 'Telly Addicts', and the ill-fated 'Late, Late Breakfast Show', which Edmonds quit, after 'have-a-go hero', Michael Lush, died in a bungee jump he was rehearsing for the show.

Despite being responsible for two of television's most hideous conceptions - Mr Blobby and Crinkley Bottom - his interest in spiritualism and ill-informed comments on the causes of cancer and how to cure it, Edmonds has now been asked to don his chunky knitted sweaters once more, and to mediate in the toyswap market.

Well, at least it'll keep him off the streets.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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