There were 264 spoof news stories published in February 2019. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Polar Bears Are Changing Color
Polar Bears, the big, beautiful 'White Warriors of the North', are adapting to climate change in a totally unexpected way that was unforeseen by scientists, in that they are changing their color. The bears, who live almost 'unseen' in the totally...
Read full storyOld Bag Shopping Trolley Sales At 40-Year High
Figures out today reveal an unexpected upturn in retail sales for the month of January, with many shops that sell those 'old bag' shopping trolleys (pictured) reporting a huge increase in demand. The trolleys are the preferred method of conveying...
Read full storyKarl Lagerfeld Cat To Make Changes To Brand
The death of German fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld on Tuesday, and the subsequent revelations about his will, might well mean huge changes ahead for the Lagerfeld empire. Lagerfeld, 85, left his $200million fashion empire entirely in the hands of...
Read full storyBezos Takes Over National Enquirer and Merges it With Washington Post
Although it was thought that the National Enquirer would become the advertising insert of the venerable Washington Post, it turns out it is actually to become more of a print version of Amazon.com. Bezos has long envied the Enquirer's place on th...
Read full storyCity Centre Retail Success Story Keeps On Growing
The value of being selected as the UK City of Culture has been proven beyond all shadow of a doubt, after the news that Hull, the 2017 incumbent, has expanded its city centre retail trade exponentially, according to local gossip. Despite losing it...
Read full storyLocal Employee Decapitated For Having Too Many Unexcused Absences
St. Paul, Minnesota. The corporate staff at Pete's National Decking Products, a factory that produces household furniture items and outdoor decking material, executed one of their employees last Monday at 12:30 pm. Thomas Waters, 42, was allo...
Read full storyPopsicles Melting at Alarming Rate
A daycare center in Oakland, California, experiencing the extreme effects of rising global temperatures, has reported that popsicles are melting at an alarming rate. “Children are our future,” said daycare attendant Maria Vazquez, “and our kids ar...
Read full storyWife Beats Up Hubby Because of a Song
Truth be told -- it wasn't just ANY song the hubby was crooning. It was that old 1909 song, "My Wife's Gone to the Country (Hurrah! Hurrah!)." Music by Ted Snyder, with lyrics by Irving Berlin and George Whiting. Here's an excerpt: My wif...
Read full storyCheaply Purchased Trac Phone Runs Out Of Minutes As Man Desperately Tries To Provide Advice To Others
Beloit, Wisconsin. Brad Steiner's trac phone ran out of minutes last Friday, February 1st, after he spent the entire evening desperately trying to provide deep advice to others who were feeling emotionally distressed and extremely troubled. Brad,...
Read full storyMartina Navratilova Changes Her Name To Martin
Former women's tennis star, Martina Navrátilová, has announced that she has changed her name to 'Martin'. It's not immediately apparent why the 18-time Grand Slam singles winner has decided to make this alteration, but it is almost irrelevant, as...
Read full storyScientists Link Youtube Political Propaganda Videos to 5 Point Drop in Average IQ of Americans
Atlanta - Scientists studying an apparent 5-point drop in the average IQ of adults in the United States, have established a connection between the fall in test results and the online and television viewing habits of those subjects. The research...
Read full storyJussie Smollett Says All White People Attacked Him
Jussie Smollett, the black African-American actor who used to star in the Empire TV series, claims he has been the victim of a callous, vicious, and malicious race-motivated attack by every single white person on the planet, and he's deadly serious.
Read full storyJussie Smollett Diagnosed As Color Blind
Jussie Smollett, the African-American former star of the TV series 'Empire', has suffered a another setback today, after he was diagnosed as color blind, by me. Smollett isn't just borderline color blind, either. The star, who was paid $65,000...
Read full storyMan Absolutely Nails Perfect Wave to Passing Driver
A man driving back from the dump today absolutely nailed his wave to a minor acquaintance who passed him in his car. “It was just fantastic,” said the man. “The guy drove past me, I recognized his car, I made eye contact and then gave a cool nonch...
Read full storyTheodore McCarrick Hopes There Is No God
The former archbishop of Washington, D.C., who is currently mired in allegations of sexual abuse, has said that he hopes that there is no God, otherwise he is in a shitload of trouble. Theodore McCarrick, now 88, faces charges of sexually abusing...
Read full storyKarl Lagerfeld Used To Stroke His Cat
The late fashion designer, Karl Lagerfeld used to stroke his cat, Choupette, it's been revealed. Lagerfeld, who died on Tuesday, aged 85, would sit for hours in a high-backed swivel chair gently stroking the beautiful, silky, white fur of Choupett...
Read full storyVideo Discovered of Wayans Brothers in Shocking 2004 White Face Incident
Hollywood - Local news outlets have discovered a disturbing 15-year-old video, clearly showing Shawn and Marlon Wayans, famous comedians and movie directors, wearing "white face" costumes during the filming of one of their movies. The duo could...
Read full storyPope Francis to Allow Masturbation, But Only Among Priests and Only with Biblically-themed Porn
THE VATICAN—Pope Francis, in his new encyclical Masturbationes Licit, has now opened the practice of masturbation to some, but not all, Catholics. Said Pope Francis, “Given that our esteemed clergy appear to have—how do you say?—too much unrequited...
Read full storyThings Getting Tight for Attention
For generations, thanks to regular reminders to pay him, Attention had been doing quite well for himself. These days, though, amidst a flood of social media, smart phones, and infinite other distractions, no one’s paying Attention much – and he's be...
Read full storyTelevision moves onto the sixth clone of Josh Widdicombe
It has been revealed that the world of television has moved on to its sixth clone of Josh Widdicombe. In related news, there have been 501 Piers Morgans, nine Kathryn Ryans and twelve Sara Pascoes. A television spokesman said 'These celebrities on...
Read full storyMan's Unwelcome Guest Had Cheapfucker Imitation Bag
In a story published earlier on these pages regarding a man who had to endure an unwanted female houseguest, due to his wife's kindness, I had intended to mention the woman's possessions were stored in a cheapfucker adidas-imitation bag, but I forgot...
Read full storyHumanity Will Outlive Insects by at Least a Month, Claims Optimistic Report
The world is still recovering from a shock caused by the latest scientific report claiming that all insects may be extinct by the end of the century, which will result in a collapse of the planetary ecosystem. In an effort to plant a seed of opti…
Read full storyHomeless Flee LA; Fear "Forced Housing"
While social workers continue to report tens of thousands living on the city's streets, under freeway overpasses, and on islands in the usually dry riverbed, the homeless exodus from the nation's second largest city has begun in earnest. The impetus...
Read full storyPeople Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report
After surveys and statistical data were analyzed at the University of Colorado last week, the results indicated that people actually do cheat on each other constantly, while looking for more money as they steadfastly maintain a need to go to Church e...
Read full storyAuckland’s Mt Eden volcano blows its top at $50,000 fine for smoking in public.
$50,000 Fine. Please pay immediatelyVolcanoes in New Zealand have been grumbling at the Government’s constant annual walloping of smokers of raising prices by 10% every year. Volcanoes consider themselves original inhabitants of New Zealand, and have...
Read full storyValentine's Day Cards Withdrawn From Shelves In 'Porn' Row
A series of Valentine's Day cards has had to be removed from the shelves of cardshops all across the country, after there were complaints from customers who said their content was "nothing short of pornographic". Valentine's Day, on February 14, i...
Read full storyShamima Begum Forms Her Own Ultra-Radical Islamic Terror Group
Shamima Begum, the British girl who has been stripped of her British citizenship by the government, after she left London to join the Islamic State forces in Syria four years ago when she was just 15, has accepted the decision with humility, and has...
Read full storyAlexandra Stepanova outfit in love duet on ice reveals sensational aspect
Ms. Stepanova and her dancing partner Ivan Bukin showed magnificent talent in the recent European Championships Gala Show in Belarus, Russia. The show offered an ice-skating version of two lovers intensely expressing amour. The two began by lyi...
Read full storyBanksy Has Had A Change Of Perspective
Banksy, the mysterious mischievous anonymous street artist who has produced dozens of 'pieces' of street art, all over the world, has undergone a drastic change of perspective with his latest masterpiece. The Bristol artist, who regularly creeps o...
Read full storyHarlem Globetrotters In Row With The Spoof Over Logo
The Harlem Globetrotters, the famous globetrotting basketball superstars from Harlem, who wowed fans in the 1970s with their crazy-but-skilful on-court antics, are considering taking legal action against the owner of a satirical news website over the...
Read full storyInternational Best-Selling Author Writes Another Book About Stress Management That Nobody Has Any Time To Read
Accomplished author, Bob Durning, recently wrote a 790-page book about stress management that nobody has any time to read. The number 1 hit seller, which has the potential of completely rocking the world of literature, is currently sitting in...
Read full storyTrump Playing With Tiny Toy Soldiers Guarding Tiny Wall on His Desk
Some say he is spending his executive time watching TV. Some say he is tweeting. There’s been a lot of speculation about the ways in which the President of the United States spends his unstructured, “executive time”. The whole thing would’ve rema...
Read full storyConcerned Wisconsin Resident Determined To End 'Abusive' Company Strategy Of Selling Shitty, Expired Beer To People Who Live In The Midwest
Crawford County. After consuming two bottles of cheap wine and some tequila, smoking 3 packs of Marlboro Reds, and then relentlessly draining 28 cans of 'Natural Ice' beer, local resident, Brad Harvell, fell down on the front doorstep of his house b...
Read full storyFrance exports explosive spud to Hong Kong!
France has declared itself the Nr 1 exporter of spuds to ex-UK colony, Hong Kong. The Hong Kong public are now enjoying French spuds turned into to chilly crisps because Brit spuds are too expensive and filled with black eyes! The latest EU deal w...
Read full storyLakers Trade Magic Johnson to Cleveland
Almost lost in the flurry of last-minute trades before the NBA deadline, was a strange arrangement between two struggling teams who once were at the top of their respective divisions. In a surreptitious exchange, the Los Angeles Lakers sent their...
Read full storyNew York Artist Unsuccessfully Tries to Sell Out
Fed up with life as a struggling artist, abstract modernist painter Hal Fisher of New York City decided to abandon his artistic integrity and sell out – only to find that no one was interested in buying. “Talk about taking it in the balls,” said H...
Read full storyJussie Smollett No Longer A Newsworthy Item
Jussie Smollett, who was once a high-salary earner whilst acting in TV show 'Empire' before his career took a nosedive due to his color-blindness, is no longer a newsworthy item, and will be dropped from public perception forthwith. Smollett was i...
Read full storyThe N.R.A. Goes Green With Blood-Spattered Plan
Washington D.C. The National Rifle Association is addressing climate change. In a bid to abandon its outdated message that everyone needs a Glock and an AR-15, in case they want to go on an impromptu hunting trip, they've made the move to a more pres...
Read full storyKamala-Breath Harris Throws Hump Into The Tent
BILLINGSGATE POST: California Senator Kamala Harris, nicknamed Kamala-Breath because she humped former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown years ago, announced today that she is joining Pocahontas, Spartacus and a few dozen other Socialists as a candi...
Read full storyJussie Smollett Realizes It Was All A Big Mistake
Jussie Smollett, the former Empire actor, who recently staged a hoax hate crime againsy himself, in the hope of scoring some public sympathy points, has said that he now realizes he made a big mistake. Jussie, real name Justin, hired two Nigerian...
Read full storyMan Excited for Super Bowl Ads He’ll Grow to Hate
The Super Bowl is today, and millions of people will be tuned-in to see the debut of ads that they will grow to hate for the rest of the year. “Last year, I remember being giddy with excitement when I saw that Bud Knight commercial, but now, when...
Read full storyOzzie Osbourne Has Got A Frog In His Throat
Former Black Sabbath frontman, Ozzie Osbourne, has had to cancel a tour of Australia, New Zealand and Japan, after complications he experienced whilst trying to swallow a frog. Osbourne, 70, achieved notoriety in 1981, when he bit the head off a d...
Read full storyMr. T Has Name Confiscated By White House
Mr. T, the larger-than-life former member of TV's 'The A-Team', is in dispute with President Donald Trump and his White House staff, after having his name confiscated, so that the president is the only 'Mr. T' in people's minds. T, real name Laure...
Read full storyAdjectival Usage On The Increase
A study has shown that adjectival usage - the use of adjectives - is on the increase, and is likely to continue increasing until people stop using them quite so much. Results show that for the month of January, the use of adjectives on satirical n...
Read full storyBlackface Jibe As Don Trump Jr Beard Microblading Fails
New York, NYC - President Trump’s son Donald Jr is in the doghouse, a Downtown tattooist said today, after pics of his disastrous beard microblading cock-up went viral on the web. Trump Jr, 69, had sought treatment for an embarrassing bald patch w...
Read full storyNoel Edmonds To Present New Series Of Swap Shop, Complete With Chunky, Knitted Sweaters
Former children's TV presenter, Noel Edmonds, who is now thought by many to be bordering on insane as a result of his severe overexposure to audiences, is believed to have been approached to host a brand new series of the Saturday early morning child...
Read full storyBoston University May Reclassify Major in "Economics"
NEW YORK - The recent election of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for New York's 14th Congressional district has brought national attention to the role of politics in economic development. The Political Rock-Star "AOC" disrupted an astounding deal for Amazo...
Read full storyTobacco Debate Finally Resolved: Smoking Isn't that Bad for You and Cigarettes May Even Extend Lifespan in Certain Situations
Smoking really isn’t that bad for you and cigarettes may even extend lifespan in certain situations was the big takeaway from a study recently published in the prestigious Personal Choice Journal. The comprehensive study conducted by the Personal...
Read full storyTrump and Kim to share Nobel Peace Prize
We are pleased to pass along another report from the hacker group Dark Overbored, using wait-personnel in Hanoi at The Melia Hotel. At their private dinner, following hugs, handclasps, sighs, and beaming faces, the two leaders talked of how the be...
Read full storyCovington Catholic High School Takes the Boredom Out of Washington D.C. Tours
Covington, Kentucky - It's a common complaint among today's teens. In high school they are sometimes loaded onto buses to spend a day or two on tedious tours of our nation’s Capitol, to visit sites of historical interest such as the Washington Monum...
Read full storyMan Questions Life While Watching Alliance of American Football
A man questioned his choices in life while sitting alone on Saturday afternoon watching second-rate football on TV. “Where did I go wrong?” he asked himself. He wondered how he got to this point in his life where he is sitting at home on a beautif...
Read full storyCardinal Pell Choir Boys Reached The High Notes
Cardinal Pell, the 77-year-old sex offender, and former treasurer at the Vatican, has been remanded in custody for his own protection, after crowds gathered outside the courthouse in Melbourne. The demonstrators were threatening to do things to hi...
Read full storyVatican to Release New Bible in Modernized Latin
VATICAN, ROME - Pope Francis plans to publish a "Modern and Scientific Bible for the World." However, it will be written entirely in Latin, because ... that's what the Catholic Church does. Inside sources say His Holiness has spent over a year on thi...
Read full storyLiam Neeson Quits Acting To Join Police
Liam Neeson, the Hollywood actor superstar, the veteran of more than a hundred movies, and Oscar-nominee for his latest film 'Cold Pursuit', has announced his intention to quit the silver screen, and to join the police force. Neeson, 66, said that...
Read full storyTrump to Star in Spaghetti Western Remakes
Italian film director Sergio Leone III, the grandson of the fabled creator of Spaghetti Westerns, and with a promising future in his own right, has signed Donald Trump to the Clint Eastwood role in the remakes of three 1960s classic Leone films. Trum...
Read full storyGiant Bee Discovery Is Breathtakingly Pointless, Scientists Told
Scientists who re-discovered a giant bee on an Indonesian island, have been told their find is "breathtakingly pointless, stupid, and a complete waste of time. And money", by social commentator, Moys Kenwood. The bee, a Wallace's giant bee, (Megac...
Read full storyDictators Club Meets Again-Guess Who the Main Topic Was?
Moscow, Russia Vlad Putin once again hosted a meeting of the World Dictators. The main rule to be a member is you must be the head of a country rated “Not Free” by the Freedom House. Presently, there are 50 qualifiers, some more famous like Daniel O...
Read full storyNew and Improved Version of Huggable "Vlad The Impaler" Doll to be Released in April
Are teddy bears just not cutting it anymore? Does your heart need something more soothing to cuddle up with at night? The IMPALED Company is happy to announce that it will be releasing a new and improved version of the Huggable "Vlad The Impaler"...
Read full storySearch For Ernest Shackleton Ship Abandoned After Everything Lost
A search for Sir Ernest Shackleton's ship, Endurance, lost in the icy floes of the Antarctic in 1915, has been called off after a piece of equipment critical to the search was also lost. After months of trying to survive in extreme conditions whe...
Read full storyNobody Turns Up To Watch Hull City v. Stoke City Match
It's a sad fact that, for many football clubs, attendances are in decline, but nothing had prepared the management of one Championship team for what was in store for them yesterday, when ABSOLUTELY NOBODY turned up to watch Hull City take on Stoke Ci...
Read full storyNew York Woman’s Horoscope Exceeds Expectations
Craving guidance one Tuesday morning at work, Ellen Payne, a Gemini living in New York City, turned to her daily horoscope. Disappointingly, she found her general horoscope to be rather basic and vague, as was her love horoscope. But when she clicked...
Read full storyIslamic Sharia Law Would Make Luton England's Capital
A government investigation into the activities of some branches of the Islamic faith in the UK, has turned up information that, in the event of a total Moslemisation of the country, and the adoption of Sharia Law, Luton, and not London, would be the...
Read full storyFreezing Chicago Fireman Hoping for Nice, Warm Neighborhood Fire
As Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Illinois continue to struggle with the polar vortex cold snap, people are trying to come up with imaginative and often unorthodox ways to stay warm in sub-zero temperatures. A member of the Chicago fire brigade has co...
Read full storySuper Bowl Bores Fans Rigid
The New England Patriots overcame the Los Angeles Rams to become the Super Bowl victors for a record-equalling sixth time, in what was one of the most tedious matches of football many spectators could remember. The final result - 13-3 - tells the...
Read full storyPope Admits Catholic Church Is Now Like Something Out Of A Marquis de Sade Novel
Pope Francis has admitted that there have been "grave errors" in the administration of affairs within the Catholic church down the years, and that, at times, things have resembled erotic scenarios and events such as the public might have read about i...
Read full storyNashville Man Sees a Sign and Transforms His Life
Cody Gray of Nashville, Tennessee, had an unfortunate habit of having just a little - okay, a lot – too much to drink and then recklessly driving himself home. He’d never had an accident or been stopped by the police, but in the back of his mind, he...
Read full storyTrump Signs Executive Order Requiring all Nuclear Reactors To Run on Coal
President Trump has signed an executive order with new Energy rules. The first is that all nuclear reactors must switch to coal as an energy source. Trump's new rules also require burning books to use for heat and energy, since, as Trump says, "n...
Read full storyMan Vows He Has Written His Last President Trump Story
After coming in for some perceived light-hearted criticism over the repeated use of the outspoken US president, Donald Trump, as a topic to write about, a writer on a satirical news website has vowed that he has written his last President Trump story...
Read full storyAfrican hangman sacked after 'dropping' asleep on the job!
Dangling on African gallows can sometimes be a 'lifesaver' because hangmen in many African countries are demanding their midday nap and higher pay! One African country has now re-introduced the guillotine to stop dangling, dastardly poachers, crim...
Read full story"Somebody Just Fucking Died, and You Will Never See Them Again" Not a Phrase Likely to Replace "Celebration of Life" at Funeral Services
A new study released by the International Institution of Profoundly Good, Superior, and Extremely Wonderful Information released a confidential report last Thursday indicating that the harsh realities of life will continually be covered up by lies, d...
Read full storyCell phone found in puddle shows Guaido confused but ready for more input from US
Mr. Guaido’s cell phone and its lengthy texting found in a rain swamp yesterday has been confirmed as deriving from the self-proclaimed leader of Venezuela. The phone might have been flung into the puddle during a tempestuous moment in relations w...
Read full storyMan's Bicycle Chain Came Off When He Stood Up To Pedal
A pleasant afternoon cycling through country lanes turned sour for one man at the weekend, when, coming to a slight incline in the road, and rising out of his seat to exert extra force with his legs, his chain came off, and he plunged earthwards, bef...
Read full storyWar on Insects edges closer to victory
For millenia, humans have had to contend with annoying insects buzzing and biting and crawling amongst us. From wasp stings to spiders in the bath, from bed bugs to flies everywhere. Finally, the war is nearing an end. Reports from around the worl...
Read full storyBlack And White Minstrel Show To Make Comeback!
The Black and White Minstrel Show, the popular 'blackface' song and dance extravaganza broadcast on BBC television for 20 years, is to astound viewers once more, by making a comeback to the small screen this spring. The show, which was axed in 197...
Read full storyMexican Drug Cartels Designated as Health Care Providers
WASHINGTON DC - Now that the Democrat-controlled US Congress has passed a "Budget", Mexican Drug Cartels may be able to provide "Health Care Services" without fear of criminal charges and time in prison. With the support of many, many lobbyists and p...
Read full storyPolice Car Chase Was Strictly In Accordance With Traffic Laws
A police car involved in a daring high-speed chase with another car that had been stolen by criminals last night, was driven completely in accordance with the rules of the road, as specified within the UK Traffic Laws. The 'chase', in Peckham, Lon...
Read full storyNashville Man Accidentally Dropped by God
The survivor of a traumatic childhood involving physical abuse by an alcoholic father and the suicide death of his revered older brother when he was just a teen, 36-year-old Josiah Dickerson of Nashville, Tennessee, took great comfort in the belief t...
Read full storyWild pig bites Venezuelan model’s rear end; blames Maduro and CNN
This latest savage attack on a female derriere has appalled the world. Shockwaves are being reported across the female rear-view fashion industry (with guarantees no design changes will reveal less). At this time fashion Model Michelle Lewin...
Read full storyLocal Man, Billions in Debt, Succeeds in Convincing Bank Manager to Stop Raising Interest Rates by Threatening to Fire Him
Washington - A local man residing on Pennsylvania Avenue, who owns dozens of business entities with billions in loans outstanding, has convinced the manager at a Washington area bank to stop the practice of raising interest rates on the loans to a "n...
Read full storyJussie Smollett Attack Shows Just How Difficult It Is To Be A Judge
A judge in Chicago has said that accusations that actor Jussie Smollett organised an attack against himself which was intended to look like a hate crime, show just how fucked up people in the US are, and how tricky it is to be a judge. Judge John...
Read full storyNashville Man Learns to Sweat the Big Stuff
Laid-back Joey Cobb of Nashville, Tennessee, prided himself on not sweating the small stuff – and especially enjoyed injecting the additional caveat, “And it’s all small stuff.” Not so, Joey later came to learn. Unbeknownst to Joey, his wife, Liz,...
Read full storyRight Wing Guru Who Proposed Enforced Monogamy Wonders Why Women Don't Attend His Lectures
Toronto - Conservative self-help author and lecturer Jordan Peterson, who has advocated a return to a patriarchal society, and preached against the evils of feminism and liberalism, wondered aloud on a recent talk show why his lectures were attended...
Read full storyMan Is Addicted To Tea
A man who likes drinking tea has told friends that he so much likes drinking tea, that he fears he is now addicted to it. Myke Woodson has been drinking tea since he was around 4 years old, starting with a single brew after his evening meal - iron...
Read full storySuper Bowl Set For A Frenzy Of 'Knee-Taking'
Super Bowl 53 kicks off at 6:30pm (eastern time) this evening, and, aside from all the excitement over the occasion itself, there's massive interest over the prospect of all the players from both teams 'taking the knee' during the playing of the nati...
Read full storyNew York Musician Hopes His Fake Humility Holds Up on Television
New York singer-songwriter Bryce Beaumont was privileged and honored to have been invited to appear on a wildly popular late-night talk show and only hopes that the songs he shares with the audience bring them joy and inspiration, and that his fake h...
Read full storyNashville Pig Declines to Be Featured in BBQ Restaurant Logo
A pig named Pete made waves recently when he declined a potentially lucrative opportunity to be featured in the logo for Nashville hot spot Happy Hog BBQ, despite admittedly not having an alternative source of income. Pete was reportedly immune to...
Read full storyMan Had Garden Fire That Very Nearly Went Wrong
Getting rid of the trash isn't easy, especially when there is no refuse collection service, but one man who decided to burn his rubbish in his garden was left ruing his decision, when the fire very nearly got out of hand. Moys Kenwood, 55, informe...
Read full storyNew York Woman Finds that Hot Water with Lemon Reduces Her Kinky Sexual Cravings
Kim Davis, a 32-year-old woman living in New York City, was thrilled to discover that hot water with a squeeze of lemon substantially ameliorated her kinky sexual cravings. "Who knew?" she said. Always sexually adventurous, Kim had been troubl...
Read full storyNike Shoe Destroyed as Illuminati Ascend in Power
RALEIGH, NC - In a college basketball game between Duke University and the University of North Carolina, one of the Next-Generation shoes "exploded" while being worn by Zion Williamson. Adding to the shock, President Barack Obama attended the game, a...
Read full storyBrooklyn Man Confused When Random Girl Tries to Break Up with Him
Josh Adams of Brooklyn, New York, was confused when a random girl, whom he'd hung out with maybe a dozen times over the course of a few months, told him that she needed to break up with him. "She caught me totally off guard," said Josh of the gir...
Read full storySpike Lee's Grandmother To Be Investigated By IRS For Social Security Fraud
Oscar-winning director Spike Lee's grandmother is set to be investigated for social security fraud after the startling revelation that she defrauded the US Government for 50 years. Lee, declared on live television, during his acceptance speech, th...
Read full storyMan Got Sore Throat - Just Like Ozzie Osbourne
A man who contributed a story to a satirical news website, about rock singer Ozzie Osbourne getting a sore throat and having to cancel a tour to Australia, New Zealand and Japan, has come down with the very same condition, and can barely raise a croa...
Read full storyFly-Face Pelosi Explains Trump Clapback: “Was Actually Zapping A Fly”
BILLINGSGATE POST: Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. Everyone in the Beltway knows that Nancy Pelosi hates to be called “Fly-Face.” But for years she has had to wear an ACME Bug-Zapper around her neck to keep those nasty pests off her...
Read full storyCardinal Pell Is Going Down
Cardinal George Pell and his sexual abuse case have attracted a lot of media attention, and it is with this in mind that I've written the latest in my proposed 'Cardinal Pell Anthology'. This one is called 'Cardinal Pell Is Going Down' Cardina...
Read full storyNo 10 Rose Garden Wedding This Summer For New UK PM Boris Johnson
London, UK - (Riotous): Tory Party compost heap gardeners are readying to bed down Downing Street’s half acre of splendid floribunda hybrid tease in anticipation of a summer wedding according to The Spoof’s man-with-the-hoe. The new follows recen...
Read full storyZombie deer disease sweeping US and Canada originated at political rally with Sarah Sanders
Health authorities are now warning that instead of CWD (chronic wasting disease) spreading to humans, it derives from humans. Known as “zombie deer disease” in its current form, recent news has warned of animals such as deer, elk, and moose behavi...
Read full storyIntrovert Successfully Avoids Eye Contact at Workplace for Over Three Years
Through sheer grit and the strategic use of headphones, New York introvert Matthew Lister successfully managed to avoid making eye contact with anyone at his workplace for over three years, before transitioning to a remote position. Matthew wasn't...
Read full storyClimbing Equipment Shops Now Opening On Mexican Border
Several shops selling climbing equipment have opened in close proximity to the US/Mexico border, the Spoof understands. The shops are small units, but are well-stocked with a variety of professional climbing attire and tools. Amongst other items,...
Read full storyNew Floor Cleaning Machine With 12-Inch, Debris-Expelling Chute Leaves Factory Workers Extremely Pissed Off
Michigan. Employees at Woodland National Decking Products were incredibly aggravated last Monday after the company tested out a newly-purchased, industrial 'floor cleaning machine' with a foot-long chute for expelling debris. As a heavily-inspect...
Read full storyMan Doesn't Understand Why He Can't Find Work
A gifted graduate from medicine school, with many other useful practical skills, cannot comprehend why he has, thus far, been so unsuccessful in the job market. Maris Radszcinszi studied Medicine for four years, and, when an opening didn't immedia...
Read full storyMan Saw Shirt He Quite Liked In Charity Shop Window
A man walking around a city center shopping district saw a shirt he really liked in a shop window display, but hesitated to go in and buy it when he realized it was a charity shop. Myke Woodson, 53, was browsing in Hull when he happened to notice...
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