Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 20 October 2018

image for Fire Chief In Trouble Over Improper Use Of Fire Engine And Crew
I hope there isn't a fire during the performance!

A Fire Chief in charge of a local fire station was in hot water earlier, after it was revealed he had used the station's fire engine and its crew improperly - to stick up bill posters for the Firemen's Brass Band Concert!

Captain Flack, of Trumpton Fire Station, received a phone call from printer, Mr Munnings, at just after 9am, to notify him that his posters were ready for pickup. Flack told Munnings he would have his firemen collect the posters themselves, instead of having them delivered.

This was his undoing.

He activated the fire station bell which alerts the fire brigade to slide down their pole, and get into the fire engine. They raced away, and arrived at the printer's in 90 seconds, where they collected the beautiful posters.

Even at this stage, Captain Flack could have averted a 'career-ending disaster', by asking local billposter, Nick Fisher - Billsticker Nick, if you will - to put the posters up, but he chose to use his fire crew to do the job, thus, not only employing them in a manner for which they had not been trained, but also endangering the lives of local residents, for, had there been a blaze, he would have been in a very tight spot.

As it was, Firemen Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb received a stern warning over their dereliction of duty, and Captain Flack was told that, if his band didn't perform to the best of their collective musical abilities during the performance at the bandstand one minute later, there would be trouble.

Fortunately, they did, and there wasn't.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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