California Passes Law Granting Full Legal Rights to Those who Identify as Animals

Funny story written by That Guy

Friday, 5 October 2018

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California Legislature has just passed the Furry Acceptance Act, a law that, among other things, requires furries to be admitted to local zoos, and Governor Jerry Brown signed it into law this morning.

To those in furry communities, this is a major step forward. However, if you don't know what a furry is, it might sound ridiculous. In short, "A furry is someone who identifies themselves as an animal," said Furry Activist Rick Coon, "I personally identify myself as a lioness, but until now, I couldn't be where I truly belong, in the zoo hunting zebras."

Activists like Coon are ecstatic, for the first time, people who came out as a different species can have the same rights as people who have came out as a different gender. For instance, the right of a transgender to choose their own bathroom, whereas furries are not allowed to do their business outside the front door.

According to the Furries Union, it's not fair that transgender people in California can freely be a different gender if they want and furries can't freely identify, which is why this is so monumental of an achievement.

In addition to the fact that furries can be admitted into zoos should they choose to, furries are also free to enjoy other privileges and rights that cis-species animals enjoy. For instance, in the new legislation, a veterinarian cannot refuse service based on someone being a furry.

Also, one of the more controversial laws in the new act states that furries can be adopted as a pet, and are allowed to use the bathroom of their choice, provided that it's cleaned up afterwards. Specifically, any furry is allowed to do their business anywhere an animal is legally allowed to do so.

President James Logan of the California Civil Rights Commission had this to say about the new law: "I'm very happy for this victory in the furries' civil rights struggle, but it's very disappointing that it took this long, though, to legally be able to be who they are."

However, the happiness might be a little short-lived. As, in the new law, furries are legally recognized as animals, and reports state that as many as 126 furries have been captured by L.A. Animal Control for violating city 'leash law' ordinances for being in public without a leash, furries are being advised by the California Civil Rights Commission to not change their legal status until, quote: "this legal loophole has been patched."

More on this story as it develops.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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