Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 9 October 2018

image for President Trump And Judge Kavanaugh To Meet About Propriety Of 'To Kill A Mockingbird' And Others
451°F - at which paper burns

President Trump and Judge Brett Kavanaugh are to schedule a meeting during which they will consider the 'propriety' of certain contentious books in American literature, including the Harper Lee 'Deep South in the Depression' classic, 'To Kill A Mockingbird'.

The book, published in 1960, is an enduring classic work, with its themes of rape and racial prejudice, and is a title which British libraries ranked higher than the Bible amongst books "every adult should read before they die". Despite this, Trump thinks it is shit, and he and Kavanaugh are going to 'review' it, and others like it, to see if they should still be used in schools.

The president claims that "too many subversive books are in circulation", and this needs correcting. He said:

"Kids in school are very impressionisticable. We don't want them picking up any funny ideas."

Kavanaugh agreed:

"What he said."

Trump added:

"I still think Bob Ewell was innocent, and I've given the FBI the green light to go ahead and prove it! If he was, that Finch guy will be in front of a jury!

Other books that are sure to figure in the duo's 'banned list' are:

'Uncle Tom's Cabin' - Harriet Beecher Stowe
'The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn' - Mark Twain
'I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings' - Maya Angelou
'A Narrative Of The Life Of Frederick Douglass, American Slave' - Frederick Douglass
'The Color Purple' - Alice Walker

"I don't like purple," said Trump. "Once I get around to colors, I'll be taking the color purple out of circulation. About littyricture, I like Ray Bradbury's 'Fahrenheit 451' about how to keep things under control. It's a great book! Or so I'm told, by people who can read."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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