Toilet Was 'Out Of Order', But Man Was Desperate

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 12 October 2018

image for Toilet Was 'Out Of Order', But Man Was Desperate
Ada arriving for work

A toilet that was displaying an 'Out Of Order' sign was the scene of an unsavoury incident in Hull recently, when a man who was shopping in the city centre realized he was desperate for a babber.

Moys Kenwood, 55, was ambling vacantly around the Princes Quay Shopping Complex, when he felt a rumbling in his bowel region. Quickly, he made a decision to go to the toilets on the third floor.

When he entered the toilets, however, he saw that the one and only cubicle was out of order. But he was desperate. He could feel it 'poking out'. He looked around to check for witnesses, found none, then shoved the door open. What he saw next will stay with him a long time.

The floor was awash with water which had overflowed when the blocked toilet had been flushed. The toilet bowl was full of 'rusty water', with various objects such as drinks cartons, crisp packets, sweet wrappers, a plastic bottle, half a cheeseburger, and a shitty baby's nappy blocking the passage of the water. There was also a significant amount of faeces.

Kenwood, in a fit of mischief, saw this as 'a unique opportunity'. He disregarded the sewage, sat down and 'let go'.

He emerged five minutes later, washed his hands, and left, sparing not a single, solitary thought for the toilet cleaner who had just arrived for work, Ada Crompton, 71.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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