Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 22 October 2018

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image for New 'Planet Of The Apes' Movie Out In December!
Urka, wife of Urko

There was great news for fans of the 'Planet of the Apes' movie series today, when it was announced that a new film would be in cinemas from December.

'The Struggle for the Sexuality of the Planet of the Apes' is a 41st-century tale of what goes wrong when your local gorilla government loses control to left-wing radicals and liberal chimps with nothing better to do than talk about 'change'.

The days of Charlton Heston as Taylor, and Roddy McDowall as Cornelius are long-gone, and things have moved on a stage or two. Prostitution is rife, with bikini-clad gorillabitches on every tree branch; gay orangutans proliferate, and are the prime targets for alpha male gorillaviolence. Into this mix comes Tarquin, a chimp from the countryside who can't decide whether he's a chimp or a chimpess.

Local soldier, General Urko, is losing control of the community, and is in danger of being over-run by LGBTQ-mania. Society is going to shit, and it's Urko's job to fix it. It doesn't help that his wife is a high-class hooker. When he and Tarquin cross swords, it becomes a bitter fight for sexual superiority in 'The Struggle for the Sexuality of the Planet of the Apes' (18)

(Contains adult themes, sexual depravity and some bumming)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Movies, Hollywood




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