Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 7 October 2018

image for Judge Kavanaugh Set To Quash Bill Cosby Conviction
'Boys' stand together

To celebrate his 'victory' in the Sexual Misconduct hearing against him, Judge Brett Kavanaugh has indicated that, as an act of goodwill, he intends to quash the guilty conviction against jailed comedian Bill Cosby, and set the funnyman free.

Kavanaugh, it is, after a complete breakdown in the US system of justice - or, a complete confirmation of the fact that it is working 'as normal', depending on your viewpoint - who wants to repair the damage done to the American people's confidence in the US courts, which is pretty much irrepairable, if we're honest.

That the institution the American people look to for fairness, has crumbled into dust and ceased to exist, is beyond question. To those involved, this seems unimportant. They are playing for high stakes, and how they achieve their goals is, to them, secondary, or worse.

The only things that matter are the goals.

Judge Kavanaugh's idea is that there needs to be a 'fresh start', and, if there is going to be a fresh start, then jailed Bill Cosby needs a fresh start as well.

"We must be seen to be doing things fairly, and with an even hand," he said. "If I can be accused of sexual misconduct, and have witnesses lining up around the block to give evidence against me, and still get away with it, then why should poor old Bill Cosby have to suffer for his crimes? It seems a little unfair to Bill, who I think is very funny. Especially his funny faces!"

President Donald Trump is in agreement with Kavanaugh. He tweeted:

"Let Bob go free! Everyone deserves a second chance, and he's no different. Besides, the cops are bound to pick him up on something else."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
87 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more