In a move that has been widely praised by Republican leaders, Donald "The Antichrist" Trump has signed an executive piece of legislation declaring himself to be a full-blown Adolf Hitler-style dictator.
The document authorizes him to print all the money he could ever want, with his face on it, and grants him unlimited powers to do anything he wants - and I mean 'anything'.
It also bestows on him the title, which can never be taken away, of Tyrant-In-Chief.
The crazy megalomaniac then went on to grant himself the authority to marry people and issue dog licenses.
He will also enjoy the status of being a certified notary public.