Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Thursday, 18 October 2018

image for Saudi Arabia To X-RAY Stomachs Of Assassination Team
Chow Time

BILLINGSGATE POST: Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman assured Secretary of State Mike Pompeo that he would provide X-rays of the stomachs of his assassination team to prove they didn’t dispose of Jamal Khashoggi by eating his body parts. Although the surveillance videos show Khashoggi entering the Saudi Embassy, there are no videos of him leaving.

Most detectives worth their salt, including Slim Everdingle, will tell you that if a victim enters a building but doesn’t come out, and he can’t be found in the building, he must have been disposed of surreptitiously. “Otherwise,” Slim said, “there must have been Divine intervention, and this has happened only once, around 2000 years ago.”

Disposing of a body in this à la carte way is not without precedent. In 1961, Republic of Congo Prime Minister Patrice Lumumba was assassinated and his body was not found until X-rays of the stomach of his political rival, Joseph Kasavubu, showed a rib bone that was identified as belonging to Lumumba. But this was in a time and place when the act of cannibalism did not raise an eyebrow.

To this day, the body of Jimmy Hoffa has never been discovered, leading some to believe he may have been disposed of in a like manner. Most MSM pundits have already discounted the likelihood that the body of Khashoggi will ever be found. Even Slim Everdingle said that too much time has gone by.

“The odds,” Slim mused, “are between slim and none. And I’m Slim, and None is nowhere to be found.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
67 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more