Mexico To Send 5,200 Troops To US Border

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 30 October 2018

image for Mexico To Send 5,200 Troops To US Border
All quiet on the southern front this morning

The Mexican government has said in a statement released at lunchtime today, that it is to deploy 5,200 troops to its border with the USA, to counter the 5,200 US troops President Donald Trump says he is sending there as part of Operation Faithful Patriot (laughs).

General Terrence O'Shaughnessy said earlier that Operation Faithful Patriot (laughs again) would focus on Texas, Arizona and California to keep out thousands of migrants who are taking a stroll to the US. They are still 1,000 miles from the border. O'Shaughnessy said the elite US troops would be deployed by the end of the week with weapons, helicopters, aeroplanes, barriers and miles of razor wire to support border patrol agents.

But, they are not going to have it all their own way.

Current president, Enrique Peña Nieto, and president-elect, Andrés Manuel López Obrador, met last night in Mexico City to discuss the situation, and were in agreement that Mexico should respond in kind. They will have a further 20,000 troops on standby should they be needed.

The Mexicans will be armed with handguns, rifles, helicopters, aeroplanes, aircraft carriers, men on horses, tanks, artillery, rockets, knives, penknives, bows and arrows and a whole load of other shit, so don't underestimate them.

President Trump tweeted:

"Many Gang Members and some very bad people are mixed into the Caravan heading to our Southern Border. Please go back, you will not be admitted into the United States unless you go through the legal process. This is an invasion of our Country and our Military is waiting for you!"

The Mexicans tweeted nothing. They believe actions speak louder than words.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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