Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 9 October 2018

image for Bill Cosby Gets Standing Ovation From Cellmate
Cosby played to a 'full house'

It was a much more relaxed evening for jailed comedian, Bill Cosby, last night, as the 81-year-old former funnyman put on an impromptu performance to remember - even if it will only be remembered by one man, Cosby's cellmate, Thomas 'Frankie' Knuckles.

Cosby and Knuckles, having eaten their evening meal of gruel, washed down with cold coffee, adjourned to their room at around 8pm, and spoke for a while about their pasts.

For Knuckles, this meant the ganglife adventures he'd had on the streets of Philadelphia; for Cosby, it was jazz and comedy. Thomas said he'd heard of Bill's jazz ability, and asked him if he'd make him laugh instead.

Bill was only too happy to oblige.

First, he told a few jokes to loosen Knuckles up, then deftly swung into his 'Dr. Huxtable incarnation', a mixture of dopey-dad tomfoolery, and minimalist dopey-grandpa foolishness. When Knuckles' stomach was aching from laughter, and he could take no more, Bill said he'd have to take a pee, and an interval was agreed upon.

On returning, Cosby did his 'visual gags' the 'Cosby Dance', and then, the highlight of the performance, the 'Cosby Funny Faces', a collection of silent looks that were so dumb-looking, they would have had audiences in raptures. And so it was with Knuckles. The gangster doubled-up in fits of laughter.

Finally, Cosby ended the evening's entertainment with some jazz vocals:

Zip-pa-pa Zip-pa-pa Zoo-eeee Zoo-eeee..."

Dooby-dooby-doo-doo-dooby-dooby-doo-doo..."

"Sca-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-boo-Sca-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-boo..."

"Diddly-diddly-de-de-de-de-de-de-doowor-doowor-Scabadee-scoop-scoop-scoop-scoo-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

"Piddly-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-pee-Piddly-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo-Sha-sha-sha-sha-sha-fiddlee-dee-dee-dee-dee-fiddlee-dee-dee-dee..."

Cosby even did a drum roll to finish off with. It was the performance of a lifetime. It brought the house down - not literally, of course. Knuckles put his hands together and got to his feet. He clapped for all he was worth, and tears appeared in both men's eyes. What joy!

Then the guard said:

"Lights out, you pair of queers."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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