US President Donald Trump, has told senior members of the Republican administration he is to go to Saudi Arabia to personally deal with the investigation into the disappearance of the Washington Post journalist, Jamal Khashoggi.
Mr Trump, who doesn't mince his words, told colleagues:
"It's my duty as the president, and as an American to go and find out what these Arabese guys are up to, dressing-up in their women's clothes, and those ridonculous towels around their heads!"
Trump was advised that he might, instead, try to find a way to resolve the tricky situation surrounding Mr Khashoggi and his possible murder, and 'smooth things over' for the benefit of the lucrative 'trade' the US enjoys with Saudi Arabia. Trump agreed, saying:
"Yes, yes, I'll let those filthy ragheads know which side their toast's buttered!"
President Trump is widely-respected in the region, and can look forward to a hero's welcome in Riyadh. He is sure to be able to bring pressure to bear on the Saudis in his quest to discover just what happened at the consulate in Istanbul, if he doesn't 'disappear', that is.