New news anchor's "talent" sure to boost ratings, producer says

Funny story written by Gee Pee

Wednesday, 3 October 2018


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Gold-Digger "thankful" for network's support

In an attempt to compete with Foxy Nudes, CeeBeeEss' “Diss Mornin'” program has added Brianna Gold-Digger to its lineup. The buxom beauty, known as much for her ample cleavage and her radiant smile as she is for her “gravitas,” will join co-stars most Americans have never heard of.

According to CeeBeeEss's latest producer, Gold-Digger will provide “the missing element” that will make the show competitive against the Foxy Nudes babes whose presence on the airwaves has boosted the network to the number one place in TV news ratings for the past 15 years.

“She has presence,” the producer said, “as well as intelligence, talent, and most important of all, T&A.”

Gold-Digger's addition to the lineup is the show's biggest change since her co-anchors, Gaye Queen and Norma O'Donnell (no relation to Rosie, the producer wants to make clear) donned lingerie to deliver the news to compete with Foxy Nudes's naked female anchors.

Although Gold-Digger's talent (T&A) doesn't come cheaply, “she's worth every cent if her assets allow us to dominate Foxy Nudes,” the producer whined.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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