Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 5 March 2019

image for Indian Fighter Pilot To Captain Cricket Team Against Pakistan In World Cup
A man with a handlebar moustache

Indian fighter pilot, Abhinandan Varthaman, the man captured then released by Pakistan after his bombing raid went wrong, has been praised by millions on social media, and has been awarded the highest accolade known to Indians - he is to be allowed to captain the Indian cricket team in the upcoming World Cup match against Pakistan on June 16 in Manchester.

Varthaman, who is a keen cricketer, is noteworthy for his handlebar moustache, reminiscent of former Australian bowling legend, Merv Hughes, who had the longest handlebar moustache in history.

Varthaman - pronounced 'Farterman' - is something of a dab hand with both bat and ball. He induces the bowlers into dropping the ball short, or overpitching and giving him easy full tosses, by way of hypnotizing them with his crazy, way-too-long top-lip bush. He then slogs the ball to the boundary.

When it's time to bowl, Farterman delivers a mean googlie, off-break, top-spinner, fast in-swinger, overhead-kick, and a triple-salchow.

And don't forget his handlebar moustache.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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