Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 8 March 2019

image for Trump Orders Cohen Have His Gums Painted With Gentian Violet For Lying
Painted Purple

BILLINGSGATE POST: Ominously, the day began with the Four Horses of the Apocalypse peacefully munching oats in the White House stables; their teeth tipped with rubber so that they would not wake up Slim Everdingle from his troubled slumber. Slim was extra-vigilant that evening. It was much darker than usual over the White House where he stood sentinel. Angry that he had been blistered by Rachel Maddow the previous evening, the President's curious mind again drifted to more mundane things; he wondered why Maddow was wearing a provocative turtle neck sweater during her show on MSNBC: Just to tease him, he suspected.

Squinting his bloodshot eyes, the most powerful man in the world questioned if he would ever have a chance to see her ample cleavage. Not a pretty picture. But then his mood shifted back to Michael Cohen’s testimony that morning regarding Stormy Daniels.

"What the Hell am I going to do with that lying bastard,”
he asked himself.

Then the answer came to him. He recalled that in the Joseph Heller novel, Catch 22, faced with separating the very ill and injured from the malingerers who were trying to get out of fighting the war, Dr. Daneeka ordered his staff to admit to the hospital anyone who had a temperature over 102 degrees. If their temperature was less than 102, they were to be given a laxative and their gums were to be painted purple with Gentian Violet.

“Slim, I want his gums painted with Gentian Violet.”

“Mr. President, the sumbitch will never lie again.”

“Paint ‘em, Slim-o.”

“Yo, Dude. You got it.”

“They will think I'm crazy, Slim. But you can't let crazy people decide if you are crazy."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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