Man Became Sexually Aroused In Queue At Bakery

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 8 March 2019

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A man waiting in line at a bakery shop in New York has told friends how, in looking around at the various items for sale, he became sexually aroused.

Arthur Fandango stood in the queue at the Jake's Cakes bakery in Queens, when his absent-minded glance fell upon a color picture of some tasty Maids-of-Honor. The fondant cream topping covering the flaky pastry base was hiding, he knew, a thick, creamy custard center, and he felt all the better for knowing this.

His eyes next caught sight of a Devon Split, sitting proudly under the glass counter, with rich cream spilling out of a deep gash cut into its shell, topped by a blob of jam. He experienced a warm glow inside.

As his gaze swept around the shop, it took in Cream Pies, Muffins, Lemon Curds, Jam Tarts and the exotic-sounding Vanilla Slice, and sensed a movement in his crotch. The delicacies were speaking to him!

He glanced to his left and saw some Virginettas, pure white donuts, inside of which, he was aware, was a blob of jam just waiting to explode once someone's teeth had been sunk into it.

"Is everything okay, sir?" asked the assistant, as she took Fandango's bread from him and rang it up on the till.

"Oh yes, yes. Everything's just perfect," he replied. He paid, and made to leave.

A short distance away, he noticed two men speaking in extremely camp tones about a Chocolate Fudge Cake.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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