Neural Implant that Could Translate Brain Activity in Stupid People

Written by C/L

Thursday, 25 April 2019

image for Neural Implant that Could Translate Brain Activity in Stupid People
This idiot's brain can't even log in to his computer

Most humble, open-minded people can not only communicate with well-structured sentences, but also with gestures such as subtle eye movements.

Then, there are those individuals who are arrogant and stupid-ass. They can't read any subtle gestures, let alone any facial expressions. These people are blind to others, and scientists can't be sure to what degree these individuals are lacking in intelligence. Now there is a slim hope for detecting just that.

Decoding stupidity is not easy. Scientists have captured brain signals firing off throughout the brain like disorganized flies on a clump of shit. The implant records this activity and sends the information to a computer where it's analyzed by a special program created to decipher stupidity.

For the analysis of the stupid thoughts to be effective, a person's outward manifestations of idiocy are critical as well.

For instance, researchers evaluate an individual's behavior, and compare and contrast that with what they pick up from the implant. Individuals who talk loudly and claim that they know everything usually manifest a high degree of asshole-like behaviors. A decoding algorithm helps to break down some of the dumb shit thoughts that these subjects are having, though deciphering imbecilic tendencies is a daunting task.

Mapping the brain activity of shitheads seems to be idiosyncratic. Finding a way of conclusively relating such personally humiliating, and shameful thoughts to generalized standards of vapid models is a challenge.

Personalizing brainless signals to their desired physical movements will be difficult in people unable to learn, because of their ignorant ego, and arrogant Id, scientists claim.

Greater breakthroughs have been made when these people are subject to watching ultra-violent films and extreme pornography. Researchers are better able to synchronize the detectable fuck-headed signals with outward physical manifestations of those signals such as hooting, hollering, violently breaking things, masturbating, urinating, and defecating. It also aligns with those vapid models that have been created for the endeavor of mapping brains, which for all intensive purposes, are soaked in a thick viscous fluid of majorly fucking stupid!

Although every individual's idiocy is peculiar to them, this exciting new field of decoding the enigmatic workings of the brain of acutely stupid assholes is highly rewarding research.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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