The Sultan Of Brunei Is A Bender

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 4 April 2019

image for The Sultan Of Brunei Is A Bender
He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone

News is emerging from the little-known South-East Asian country of Brunei Darussalam this morning, that the nation's mega-rich leader, the Sultan of Brunei, is as bent as a nine bob note.

Hassanal Bolkiah, whose real name is Haji Hassanal Bolkiah Mu'izzaddin Waddaulah ibni Al-Marhum Sultan Haji Omar Ali Saifuddien Sa'adul Khairi Waddien, is both the richest, and the second-richest man in the world. He was the man responsible, on Wednesday, off passing no-nonsense laws with regard to anal sex and adultery, which will now be punished by stoning to death, except for Sultans.

It was this late addendum to the law that raised eyebrows in Brunei, and, from there, one thing led to another.

One man from the LGBT community came forward to say that the Sultan had propositioned him on a secluded beach last year. This man has now disappeared. Another man who claimed he was picked up in a street and taken to the Sultan's palace, described the ghastly goings-on when he got there, but these are of a nature unsuitable for publication on He has also vanished..

The most compelling evidence of the Sultan's sexuality comes from three American tourists who were visiting the Royal palace in Bandar Seri Begawan as recently as Sunday. Joe Forbes, travelling with John Schnitzel and Amanda Lezzer, all from San Francisco, said:

"We arrived there about dusk. It was a beautiful, still night. As we looked up to the palace windows, we could see a man dressed in gold with a big crown on his head. It was clear to see, he was taking it up the kackpipe from another man. Of course, we can't be absolutely sure it was the Sultan..."

Amanda agreed. She said:

"It was cool! A real bumfest!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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