Manchester United Give Harry Maguire Captain's Armband

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 8 August 2019

Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy of English football, signed by Manchester United for £80million from Leicester City on Monday, is to be given the Old Trafford captain's armband as a gesture of just how valuable an asset the club rate him.

It's also been rumoured he will take over the England captaincy.

Maguire, 26, and weighing 100kg, is set to make his United debut in the Premier League fixture against Chelsea at Old Trafford on Sunday, and is bound to be undone by one or another of the Blues' capable strikers, although this has not daunted manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. He said:

"Harry is a big, expensive player, and we think he is expensive enough to be made our captain. You've got to get your money's worth."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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