There were 198 spoof news stories published in December 2019. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Liverpool FC In Trouble After Five Fail Drug Tests

Liverpool FC In Trouble After Five Fail Drug Tests

The row over Liverpool fielding a young and inexperienced team to face Aston Villa in the EFL Cup defeat last week gathered new momentum today, after it was revealed that five of the youngsters had failed their drug tests. The names of the players...

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Funny story: Manchester United Ready To Give Pochettino Manager's Job

Manchester United Ready To Give Pochettino Manager's Job

Manchester United executives are thought to be putting the finishing touches to a deal that would install Mauricio Pochettino to the coveted Old Trafford manager's job, but will wait until after today's game with Aston Villa to make an announcement.

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Funny story: Mauricio Pochettino Spotted In Manchester Trafford Centre Buying Household Items

Mauricio Pochettino Spotted In Manchester Trafford Centre Buying Household Items

Shoppers at Manchester's Trafford Centre retail complex became excited this afternoon, after former Tottenham Hotspur manager, Mauricio Pochettino, was seen with his wife, shopping for bed linen. He was also carrying some towels and two cushions.

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Funny story: Harry Maguire: Manchester United Can Be Champions

Harry Maguire: Manchester United Can Be Champions

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender, has said that his team can still win the Premier League title this season - and he can prove it. The Yorkshireman was speaking after United's stunning 2-1 victory over their intens...

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Funny story: Greta Thunberg Is Pregnant

Greta Thunberg Is Pregnant

There were 'knowing smiles' and sideways glances aplenty all across the scientific community today, after it was announced that the Swedish environmental activist, 16-year-old schoolgirl, Greta Thunberg, is pregnant - with ideas on how to save the p...

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Funny story: Manchester United Supporters Boo Team Off Pitch

Manchester United Supporters Boo Team Off Pitch

In absolutely astonishing scenes never before witnessed at Old Trafford, Manchester United players were booed as they left the pitch at the end of their 2-2 draw with Aston Villa yesterday. United, looking for a win that might keep manager Ole Gun...

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Funny story: Etch a Sketch cafe launches festive Coffee

Etch a Sketch cafe launches festive Coffee

Kevin Wilkes, the 24-year-old owner of Chutney on the Fritz's latest coffee emporium, Sketchy, has revealed his new range of seasonal drinks. There is the Marshmallow Maximiser, which is just an extra two marshmallows with a Hot Chocolate - perfec...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Has Decided To Leave His Christmas Shopping Until After The Sales Start

Harry Maguire Has Decided To Leave His Christmas Shopping Until After The Sales Start

You wouldn't have thought he'd have been short of a bob or two, but that's the impression several people have been given tonight, after Manchester United central defender, Harry Maguire, announced that he is to leave his Christmas-present shopping un...

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Funny story: Donald Trump Talking Doll - With New Added Phrases - Expected To Be Christmas Bestseller

Donald Trump Talking Doll - With New Added Phrases - Expected To Be Christmas Bestseller

The festive season is upon us once more, and as parents desperately wrack their brains for ideas to excite and surprise their children, help is at hand, as this year's most popular toy is set to be the new, updated Donald Trump Talking Doll. The d...

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Funny story: Michael Buble CDs to become Legal Tender

Michael Buble CDs to become Legal Tender

Following high-level discussions in Parliament, with talks of a post-Brexit financial catastrophe, politicians have revealed that Michael Buble CDs will become legal tender in 2020. The CDs often kept following divorces, and relationship breakups,...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Play Father Christmas At Manchester United Christmas Party

Harry Maguire To Play Father Christmas At Manchester United Christmas Party

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender, is to take on an extra responsibility over the coming Christmas period, when he will be donning a Santa Claus suit and a big, fluffy, white beard, and acting as the official club Fath...

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Funny story: Spoof Writer's Book On Amazon Was A Bit Pricey

Spoof Writer's Book On Amazon Was A Bit Pricey

A man who was looking into the affairs of a writer on the satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, was astonished to find that a book written by that writer was listed on www.Amazon.com at a rather pricey $965.90, which took some believing, I can tell y...

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Funny story: Manchester United Half-and-Half Scarves Were Made By Idiots

Manchester United Half-and-Half Scarves Were Made By Idiots

Whatever your own personal feelings are towards 'half-and-half scarves' - those tacky scarves made up of both teams' colours - you can imagine the fake disappointment felt by fans of Colchester United when they turned up for their historic match with...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Warned About Christmas Carol Singing Nuisance

Harry Maguire Warned About Christmas Carol Singing Nuisance

The festive season is well-and truly upon us, and not without an early controversy, as Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire and his girlfriend Fern Hawkins have upset some of their neighbours with their own particular brand of...

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Funny story: Manchester City Fan To Be Banned From Pulling His Trousers Up

Manchester City Fan To Be Banned From Pulling His Trousers Up

Anthony Burke, the Manchester City supporter who is accused of gesticulating to a Manchester United player, and making monkey chants, but who denied this, and said he was just pulling his trousers up, has been banned from pulling his trousers up.

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Funny story: Shane McGowan To See Dentist About Having His Teeth Out

Shane McGowan To See Dentist About Having His Teeth Out

Shane McGowan, the frontman of Irish punk and folk rockers, The Pogues, has stunned friends by booking a dental appointment to have his teeth out. McGowan, 61, underwent a nine-hour operation in 2016, during which he had an entire set of teeth in...

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Funny story: Man Utd v. Tottenham: Spurs Favourites To Take All Three Points

Man Utd v. Tottenham: Spurs Favourites To Take All Three Points

It's the big game at Old Trafford tonight, and former Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, is back for the first time since he was sacked from the job a year ago. This time, however, it's with Tottenham Hotspur, the team that trounced his Un...

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Funny story: Racism News: Apes At Zoo Resent Monkey Chanting

Racism News: Apes At Zoo Resent Monkey Chanting

Monkeys at a British zoo have called for football fans to stop using monkey chants to taunt black players, as it tends to portray monkeys as somewhat lower on the evolutionary scale than humans, which they resent. Their concerns relate, more speci...

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Funny story: Manchester City Fan Accused Of Racism Is, Himself, Descended From Apes

Manchester City Fan Accused Of Racism Is, Himself, Descended From Apes

A Manchester City supporter accused of making monkey noises directed towards Manchester United player, Fred, in Sunday's local derby, is himself descended from apes, it's been reported. Anthony Burke, 41, has been arrested by police, and is curren...

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Funny story: New Year To Have The Lowest 4-Digit Total For Nine Years

New Year To Have The Lowest 4-Digit Total For Nine Years

As 2019 slowly, but surely, approaches its conclusion, and we get ever nearer to another new year, it's been noticed that next year - 2020 (twenty-twenty) - will contain the individual digits' lowest total since nine years ago, in 2011. It will al...

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Funny story: Man Can't Seem To Get Rid Of Phlegm From His Chest

Man Can't Seem To Get Rid Of Phlegm From His Chest

A man who has been suffering from some kind of virulent Asian 'flu for more than three weeks now, has admitted that, despite taking various medicines to lower the fever, provide pain relief, and to loosen the breathing-restrictive matter on his lungs...

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Funny story: Teenager won't make up his mind about the new Star Wars films until the Internet does

Teenager won't make up his mind about the new Star Wars films until the Internet does

Thomas Johnson, the son of Gary, and one of Chutney on the Fritz's more 'with it' teenagers, has decided that he won't make up his mind about whether or not he likes 'The Rise of Skywalker' until the internet decides for him. The fourteen-year-old...

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Funny story: New set of love letters between Trump and Kim exposed by disturbed CIA whistleblower

New set of love letters between Trump and Kim exposed by disturbed CIA whistleblower

In a dramatic follow-up to impeachment articles yesterday, new disclosures have appeared today. These may lead to retraction (and reconsideration) of House impeachment articles, so that Democrats may add further indications of Mr. Trump’s instabil...

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Funny story: Tories Wreck EastEnders Christmas Show Script After Surprise Election Result

Tories Wreck EastEnders Christmas Show Script After Surprise Election Result

BBC bosses are, this morning, running around in a frenzy, after the surprise General Election result left the producers of the channel's miserable soap drama, 'EastEnders', caught them off-guard, and ruined the Christmas Special show, which hinged on...

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Funny story: Man Feels He Is Being Pressured Into Getting An Arab Girlfriend

Man Feels He Is Being Pressured Into Getting An Arab Girlfriend

Meeting a new partner can be a delicate matter, and one that shouldn't be taken lightly. Imagine the feelings, then, of one man, who was confronted with an online advertizement that, he says, put him under pressure to get an Arabic girlfriend. Moy...

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Funny story: Man Went To Bed In Tracksuit, Scarf And Ski Hat

Man Went To Bed In Tracksuit, Scarf And Ski Hat

A cold snap that he was ill-prepared for resulted in one man going to bed last night clad in his tracksuit, big, thick football socks, a scarf, and a ski hat. Moys Kenwood, 56, a resident in Tapon commune, usually retires for the night in a T-shir...

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Funny story: Fallon Sherrock Injects Some Glamour Into The Sport Of Darts

Fallon Sherrock Injects Some Glamour Into The Sport Of Darts

Fallon Sherrock, one of only two women to make it into the 96-player PDC World Darts Championship in London, has made history by winning her first round tussle - with a man. There was more to it than that, though. Sherrock, 25, and a bit of a d...

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Funny story: Man In Dispute With Wife, Over Motorbike

Man In Dispute With Wife, Over Motorbike

A man has revealed details of a dispute he is having with his wife, over her daughter - his step-daughter - riding their motorbike. The daughter/step-daughter is only 13 years old, and cannot legally be in charge of a motor vehicle anywhere on the...

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Funny story: Christmas Is On The Way

Christmas Is On The Way

News is just now emerging that Christmas, the Christian festival that supposedly marks the birth of Jesus the Son of God, and is now celebrated around the world by giving each other various unwanted gifts, is coming. If this wasn't bad enough, the...

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Funny story: Man not watching Home Alone II

Man not watching Home Alone II

It is has been revealed that a man in Numpty, Winnipeg, won't be watching Home Alone II because it stars President Donald Trump. The film, in which two thieves chase a young child, who caused them nothing but pain once before, through the tourist...

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Funny story: Frustrated Part-Time Coworkers Find Proper Way To Vent, Successfully Communicate Feelings, And Reach Ultimate Understanding

Frustrated Part-Time Coworkers Find Proper Way To Vent, Successfully Communicate Feelings, And Reach Ultimate Understanding

Midwest, United States. On the morning of Tuesday, December 10th, Biff Spud, 47, finally grew tired of Nathan Harbor's bullshit, as well as the lack of enthusiasm he was displaying for his job. Sensing that the part-time, 39-year-old administra...

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Funny story: Trump escapes impeachment by promoting himself to President Of Planet Earth aka POPE.

Trump escapes impeachment by promoting himself to President Of Planet Earth aka POPE.

Following a tiring mind-numbing exercise in composing a six-page letter to Nancy Pelosi sprinkled with vehement denials and accusatory finger-pointing of ‘ impeachment scam & sham’, ‘witch hunt’, ‘fake news’, ‘open war on democracy’, blah blah, P...

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Funny story: New York Writer Realizes She Must Have Genuine Love of Writing Because She's Definitely Not Getting Anything Else Out of It

New York Writer Realizes She Must Have Genuine Love of Writing Because She's Definitely Not Getting Anything Else Out of It

Charlotte Bonner of New York City, who spends her days doing a Manhattan office grind and her evenings working on short stories, blog posts and a novel-in-progress, none of which have ever garnered her any professional attention let alone financial r...

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Funny story: Cat And Dog In LGBTQ+ Row

Cat And Dog In LGBTQ+ Row

As the world slowly learns to come to terms with the countless new rules imposed upon it of genderbending, an even newer and potentially more controversial consequence has raised its ugly head - involving a cat and a dog! In what has been termed '...

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Funny story: Man's Father-in-law Has Become Nocturnal

Man's Father-in-law Has Become Nocturnal

A man has revealed how his father-in-law has taken the unusual step of refusing to go to bed at bedtime, and staying up all night, then sleeping right through the next day, instead. Moys Kenwood, 56, a resident of Tapon commune in Battambang, clai...

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Funny story: Arsenal Mikel Arteta Statement Expected Today

Arsenal Mikel Arteta Statement Expected Today

After what has seemed like an eternity in football terms, Arsenal have said they will make a statement regarding Manchester City assistant coach, Mikel Arteta, later today, though it's not known what the statement will say. Earlier this week, City...

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Funny story: Boxing Fan Stunned To Discover Fighter's Entire Career Wasn't Real

Boxing Fan Stunned To Discover Fighter's Entire Career Wasn't Real

A boxing fan from Philadelphia who closely followed the progress of a former Heavyweight champion of the world, says he was stunned to learn that the entire saga of the 'rags-to-riches' pugilist is not real, and is merely the fabrication of somebody'...

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Funny story: Manchester United: Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Will Be History If United Lose To Another Shit Team

Manchester United: Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Will Be History If United Lose To Another Shit Team

Manchester United manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, has been told that he should tidy his desk and prepare his locker for a full clear-out, because if United lose to just one more shit team, he will be out of the club on his ear. Solskjaer was made t...

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Funny story: The Spoof Guide to making a generic feel good Christmas Film

The Spoof Guide to making a generic feel good Christmas Film

With the Christmas channel seemingly starting to broadcast films from mid-March, they have a serious number of hours to film with cheap, made-for-television films. It can be a lucrative market, particularly if it is shown during the day in November,...

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Funny story: Rudolph Files Anti-Bullying Suit Against All the Other Reindeer

Rudolph Files Anti-Bullying Suit Against All the Other Reindeer

North Pole. Woof Blister reporting for SIN - Spoof International News. Following his great success as Santa's lead reindeer, and despite the heroic reception he subsequently received from his peers, Rudolph has charged all the other reindeer with bul...

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Funny story: Santa Claus Considering Sending In Sick Note

Santa Claus Considering Sending In Sick Note

Santa Claus, the maker of children's dreams the world over every year on December 25th, is on the verge of creating a huge controversy this festive season, after it was revealed he is tired, overworked, and considering sending in a sick note. Sant...

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Funny story: Duckling Now Doing Much Better, Thank You For Asking

Duckling Now Doing Much Better, Thank You For Asking

A duckling that was the victim of a callous and unprovoked attack by a cockerel not yet two weeks ago, (TheSpoof.com 9 Dec) is making a rather splendid recovery, and is now able to stand on its own two feet again. The cockerel had attacked the muc...

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Funny story: New England Patriots' Tom Brady Urges Spoof Writer Not To Bother

New England Patriots' Tom Brady Urges Spoof Writer Not To Bother

New England Patriots quarterback, Tom Brady, fresh from an embarrassing 27-24 home defeat at the hands of the Miami Dolphins yesterday, which pitches the team into their first post-season Wild Card game since 2009, has warned journalists not to write...

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Funny story: Greta on Prince Andrew's radar

Greta on Prince Andrew's radar

HRH Prince Andrew, the Duke of York, currently eighth in line of succession to the throne, has expressed warm approval and admiration for the efforts of the Swedish schoolgirl and climate activist, Greta Thunberg. "Yes, a marvellous creature. High...

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Funny story: Busker as sick of this song as you are

Busker as sick of this song as you are

That busker who struggles to play Bob Dylan's Knocking on Heaven's Door is as sick of it as you are. Gary Smith, from Chutney on The Fritz, is always busking outside of Sketchys, the Etch-A-Sketch-themed hipster cafe, with his guitar, little amp,...

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Funny story: Santa Putin

Santa Putin

Sung by Donald Trump, in his negligee. Santa Putin, just slip some oppo on Joe Biden, For me. Been a really useful tool, Santa Putin, So hurry down my chimney tonight. Santa Putin, the 2020 election too, For my coup. I'll wait up for you d...

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Funny story: The 'Teflon Don' Gang Bunkers Down In The Washington Senate Building

The 'Teflon Don' Gang Bunkers Down In The Washington Senate Building

A creepy figure creeps along the side of the long, white stone building, avoiding the lights, embracing the shadows. He was searching for the secret entrance his co-conspirators had informed him of. Finally locating it he carefully, quietly pulled it...

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Funny story: Cockerel Broke Duckling's Legs, So Man Dealt With It

Cockerel Broke Duckling's Legs, So Man Dealt With It

There was high drama in one back garden in southeast Asia this morning, after a confrontation between a huge cockerel and a much smaller duckling left the latter with two broken legs. The cockerel, which stood around two feet tall, took issue with...

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Funny story: Joe Rogan Secretly Yearns to Go Vegan but Fears Alienating Fans

Joe Rogan Secretly Yearns to Go Vegan but Fears Alienating Fans

Sources report that comic and podcast show host Joe Ragan, known for his protein-pounding, bow-hunting ways, secretly yearns to go vegan, but fears alienating his meathead fans. "It's not just a marketing thing," said one inside source. "He's gen...

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Funny story: Macron and Trump compete over “brain dead” and other matters

Macron and Trump compete over “brain dead” and other matters

On the heels of an unsavory moment with Mr. Macron, Mr. Trudeau, and Mr. Johnson at the G-7 summit in London, Mr. Trump has angrily denied he will give a closing press conference. Recently, Mr. Macron is on record as having said NATO is “brain de...

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Funny story: Brian Clough Has Risen From The Dead

Brian Clough Has Risen From The Dead

The former Derby County and Nottingham Forest manager, Brian Clough, who many in those areas held to be immortal, died in 20, but may have gone beyond the realms of mere mortals and come back to life - as the Secretary of State for Wales, Simon Hart.

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Funny story: Trump Denies Rumors that He's Been Impeached

Trump Denies Rumors that He's Been Impeached

Blasting the liberal-leaning media for propagating "fake news," United States President Donald Trump denied rumors that he had been impeached. The president went on to announce that he would soon be taking a trip to Ukraine to do some last-minute...

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Funny story: Neil Shipperley Is A Wanker

Neil Shipperley Is A Wanker

The world of football, and of sport, in general, was alive with condemnation tonight for the former Chelsea, Crystal Palace, Southampton, Nottingham Forest, Sheffield United, Barnsley and Wimbledon centre-forward, Neil Shipperley, who, it turns out,...

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Funny story: 1, 2, 3, Impeach

1, 2, 3, Impeach

Simple as one, two, three, impeach! Of course, Trump abused his power of office by holding back $400 million in defensive weapons for Ukraine. Ukraine was in the middle of a battle with Russia. Congress had already appropriated the $400 million.

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Funny story: Ask Dr. Billingsgate: He Knows All, Sees All, Tells All

Ask Dr. Billingsgate: He Knows All, Sees All, Tells All

BILLINGSGATE POST: Dr. Billingsgate takes questions from vitally-concerned non-entities who wish to take advantage of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to probe the innards of the good doctor’s inner-self: Dear Dr. B: You have been very critic...

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Funny story: Trump Socks It To Nancy Pelosi

Trump Socks It To Nancy Pelosi

BILLINGSGATE POST: Trump socks it to Nancy Pelosi. As a token of Christmas giving, President Trump sent The Speaker of the House a pair of his favorite socks to hang over the mantle of her fireplace to commemorate his impeachment. He attached th...

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Funny story: Assange removal program fully explained

Assange removal program fully explained

There ARE laws against many actions, which citizens here and there around the world may be unaware of. *If a company leaves its manual for how to create a product lying around on the sidewalk, you must not pick it up and sell it to one of that com...

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Funny story: Man Could Die Any Minute

Man Could Die Any Minute

There were severe concerns, last night, for the welfare of a foreign man living in an area of the world which some have described as being "out of his comfort zone", and fears that he could, quite literally, die at any moment. The man in question...

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Funny story: Boy Fell Into Patch Of Nettles

Boy Fell Into Patch Of Nettles

A boy who was playing in a back tenfoot with his friends back in 1970, has related, years later, how, whilst sitting precariously on a neighbour's fence, he fell off it, and into a rather large patch of nettles, which stung like fuck. Wearing only...

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Funny story: Pelosi starts impeachment proceedings against ALL Senate Republicans

Pelosi starts impeachment proceedings against ALL Senate Republicans

Following the House impeachment of Mr. Trump yesterday, Speaker Pelosi has lost no time in follow-up activity. First, she indicates there will be delay in getting House impeachment articles to the Senate, because so far the senate process does not...

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Funny story: Jeremy Corbyn Underestimated The Sheer Stupidity Of The Public

Jeremy Corbyn Underestimated The Sheer Stupidity Of The Public

Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, has said he had underestimated the stupidity of the voting public, and will move quickly to remedy this, by resigning his post in the next few weeks. Corbyn said that, despite all the online jokes and memes at h...

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Funny story: Toddler savaged by government watchdog

Toddler savaged by government watchdog

There were calls for changes to The Dangerous Bureaucrats Act last night, after a 3-year-old girl was admitted to Great Ormond Street Hospital suffering from wounds inflicted by a Government Watchdog that had been left free to roam in a London Park.

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Funny story: "Don't Make Me Do Stuff" Movement gaining traction.

"Don't Make Me Do Stuff" Movement gaining traction.

The movement known as "Don't Make Me Do Stuff" is starting to gain traction in Canada. What started out as a protest by mostly teens who didn't want to be told what to do, has developed into a whole movement of mostly teens not wanting to be told...

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Funny story: Prince Andrew To Cut All Ties With Prince Andrew

Prince Andrew To Cut All Ties With Prince Andrew

After yesterday's news that Prince Andrew had been advised to submit himself to making legal testimony before a US court, and with more and more of the Duke of York's business associates disassociating themselves from him and his projects, the Prince...

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Funny story: Power Converters still available at Tosche Station

Power Converters still available at Tosche Station

Following the last-minute Black Friday and Cyber Monday rush, power converters are still available at Tosche Station. Ever since being spoken about in Space documentary Star Wars, Tosche Station has been making a roaring trade in Power Converters,...

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Funny story: An O. Henry Christmas Spoof: The Madge I.'s Gift

An O. Henry Christmas Spoof: The Madge I.'s Gift

"One hundred thousand, eight hundred sixty-three dollars and fifty-two cents! Is that all?" Madge I. Young - she always insisted on using her middle initial - scowled as she read the numbers on her bank statement. She hadn't looked at one in weeks...

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Funny story: Chickadees: Taking A Cold Edge Off Your Chisel

Chickadees: Taking A Cold Edge Off Your Chisel

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a campaign speech to 23 farmers stuffed in a corn silo in Pocahontas, Iowa, Democrat candidate Joe Biden told the gathered hay shakers that he fully supported the conversion of corn to ethanol, even though it didn’t make economi...

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Funny story: Prince Andrew Denies Ever Having Met The Queen

Prince Andrew Denies Ever Having Met The Queen

After a series of sketchy denials that were, quite frankly, somewhat difficult to believe, Prince Andrew has issued his most dramatic denial yet this afternoon, when he denied ever having met his mother, the Queen. Andrew, also known as the Duke o...

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Funny story: Art Lover Eats Mona Lisa's Banana

Art Lover Eats Mona Lisa's Banana

At a recent Miami art show, a newly discovered Leonardo da Vinci sketch of Mona Lisa eating a banana sold for $1,200,000. But before the piece could be transferred to the new owners, a man posing for a selfie with the newly discovered work of the mas...

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Funny story: Pelosi and Schumer unveil "artichokes" of impeachment

Pelosi and Schumer unveil "artichokes" of impeachment

Nanny Pelosi and Upchuck Schumer, speaking on behalf of the “Democratic” Party, announced two "artichokes of impeachment" against President Donald Trump. “Today, in service of our party,” Pelosi said, “we are charging the president with having hig...

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Funny story: Twelve Days of Impeachment

Twelve Days of Impeachment

Washington, D.C. - After a marathon Thursday session of the U.S. House Representatives Judiciary Committee, known as the Impeachment Markup Hearing, a vote on two articles of impeachment against President Donald Trump was postponed until Friday morni...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Secretly Thinks World Has Gone Crazy

Nashville Man Secretly Thinks World Has Gone Crazy

Although Ray McGowan of Nashville, Tennessee, doesn’t like to ruffle feathers or cause offense, he admitted to secretly thinking that the modern world has gone a little crazy. “More than a little, if I’m really truthful,” he said. “Just between yo...

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Funny story: World Leaders Become Gossip Girls At NATO Conference

World Leaders Become Gossip Girls At NATO Conference

Professional two-faced gossip girl, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada, was caught on mic with other NATO world leaders, mocking President Trump's impromptu press conference, but there were more tidbits caught on hidden microphones at the recept...

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Funny story: New York Office Worker Leads Rich Inner Life

New York Office Worker Leads Rich Inner Life

Although her day job doing data entry at a Mahattan financial services firm is not glamorous, exciting, or even remotely interesting, internally speaking, Laura Driscoll of New York City leads a life that's second to none. "It's so much fun!" said...

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Funny story: Facts about your anus

Facts about your anus

Here are some interesting facts you might not know about your anus. Your anus is the coldest place in the solar system. Your anus is tilted at 98 degrees. Your anus has its own atmosphere. Your anus is made up largely of ammonia and metha...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Decides to Cut Himself Some Slack

Nashville Man Decides to Cut Himself Some Slack

"I don't tend to try very hard at things, so I never thought I could be a perfectionist," said Dave Bagwell of Nashville, Tennessee. "But I realized I had it backwards - my standards were so ridiculously high that I didn't think there was even any po...

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Funny story: Top 10 Reasons Nasty Pelosi Didn't Turn Over Articles of Impeachment for Senate Trial

Top 10 Reasons Nasty Pelosi Didn't Turn Over Articles of Impeachment for Senate Trial

Washington D.C. - This week, Democrats fulfilled their over-three-year-long dream by passing two articles of Impeachment against President Trump. A journey proclaimed the day he was inaugurated, and even voted on by the House of Representatives three...

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Funny story: Nashville Poet Narrowly Escapes Drowning in Stream of Consciousness

Nashville Poet Narrowly Escapes Drowning in Stream of Consciousness

Weary of trite rhymes and predictable turns of phrase, poet Walter O'Malley of Nashville, Tennessee, decided to try his hand at free-form verse, only to narrowly avoid drowning in a stream of consciousness. "I just thought I'd dip my toe in and ge...

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Funny story: Earring Manufacturers produces gene to give Humans 6 Ears

Earring Manufacturers produces gene to give Humans 6 Ears

In an interesting development in the meshing world of manufacturing and genetics, where the two are teaming up to to improve demand, no longer will extra earrings rely on body piercings! Extra ears are on the way! You can even choose to have ears lik...

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Funny story: New Type Of Vampire Discovered (And They Are In Your Bank!)

New Type Of Vampire Discovered (And They Are In Your Bank!)

A new, terrifying species of vampire has been discovered that has begun a feeding frenzy throughout the world. The horrifying part is that it haunts the least likely of places - your local bank! This vampire is a new one for the books - it feeds n...

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Funny story: Desperate FDA Authorizes Two Christmas Cookies per Day during Holiday Season

Desperate FDA Authorizes Two Christmas Cookies per Day during Holiday Season

Desperate to prevent Americans from ignoring its half-hearted health recommendations altogether, the Food and Drug Administration authorized eating up to two Christmas cookies per day for the duration of the holiday season. "We encourage people to...

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Funny story: Trump ID’s Whistleblower: Obama’s Mother In Law Was Trojan Horse

Trump ID’s Whistleblower: Obama’s Mother In Law Was Trojan Horse

BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since Odysseus snuck into Troy in a wooden horse has such an audacious plot been attempted. In a replay of this mythological ploy of skullduggery, Marian Lois Robinson, mother of Michelle Obama, was identified by President Tr...

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Funny story: US Women Astronauts Set Space Records But Lack Reproduction Rights On Earth

US Women Astronauts Set Space Records But Lack Reproduction Rights On Earth

A 40-year-old electrical engineer broke the 288-day record set by a former female space station commander in 2016-2017. The engineer is planning to spend a total of 328 days aboard the space station before returning to Earth. She has an additiona...

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Funny story: Football Fan Abuse

Football Fan Abuse

A football team has turned the tables on abusive fans, as they booed a section of their home support at the final whistle. Siddrington Town, who play in the 15673rd tier of English football, turned on their support at the end of a dismal 0-0 draw...

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Funny story: Man Didn't Vote In Election

Man Didn't Vote In Election

A man has revealed how he decided not to seize the opportunity of casting his vote in the UK General Election yesterday, and went to work instead. Myke Woodson told friends that he really couldn't care less what happened in the election, and hoped...

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Funny story: Boris makes it all about the people

Boris makes it all about the people

The announcement that Boris Johnson is going to call his government "The People's Government" has raised alarm bells around Westminster. Such names are common in dictatorships like North Korea, and the implication is that all previous governments wer...

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Funny story: New Study Shows Opioids Really Not That Bad, Good For Shift Workers

New Study Shows Opioids Really Not That Bad, Good For Shift Workers

In a shocking turn of events, everything we thought we knew about the so called "Opioid Epidemic" has been turned on its head. Results of a too-secret five-year study of the drugs has determined that, as long as a person continues to take them, wi...

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Funny story: Fake Orgasm Of Love Birds Costs Trump Votes Of Suburban Housewives

Fake Orgasm Of Love Birds Costs Trump Votes Of Suburban Housewives

BILLINGSGATE POST: Suburban housewives who systematically cheat on their husbands have indicated that they will not vote for Trump in the coming election. Twice, in different speeches, Trump has made fun of the love affair between two highly-positio...

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Funny story: My thought for the day - December 21st 2019 by Ray Ving, 78, and three months, you know

My thought for the day - December 21st 2019 by Ray Ving, 78, and three months, you know

Hello there, you young people. Would you like to know my thoughts? You would? No, you wouldn't? Well, you are reading this, so I can gather that you want to be informed as to what I am thinking? Or not? Would you like to go away then? Read somethi...

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Funny story: Prince Louis Learns To Speak With The Help Of Gordon Ramsay

Prince Louis Learns To Speak With The Help Of Gordon Ramsay

Royal tot, Prince Louis, has learned to speak his first few words in the English language, thanks to the help of TV celebrity cook, Gordon Ramsay. His mum, Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, says that Louis, 19 months, who can already speak Lati...

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Funny story: Pope Francis Cancels Christianity

Pope Francis Cancels Christianity

In a recent message from the Vatican, Pope Francis confessed that the Catholic faith has lately lost its mass appeal, and that, to regain adherents, Catholics must not be afraid to make bold changes, if not found a new religion altogether. In a p...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Notes that Sun Also Sets but Appreciates Hemingway's Positivity

Nashville Man Notes that Sun Also Sets but Appreciates Hemingway's Positivity

Ian McNee of Nashville, Tennessee, couldn't help but note that, in addition to coming up every day as documented in Ernest Hemingway's classic The Sun Also Rises, the sun sets without fail every night, but he appreciates Hemingway's intentional focus...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Does a Total Three-Sixty

Nashville Man Does a Total Three-Sixty

Discontented with life as usual, Bertram Harvest of Nashville, Tennessee, did a total about-face, followed by another, ending up in precisely where he had started. “What goes around comes around,” said Harvest. “In this case, it was me.” Accord...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Tries Being Himself but Quickly Gets Confused

Nashville Man Tries Being Himself but Quickly Gets Confused

Fed up with feeling like a poser, Ryan Cosgrove of Nashville, Tennessee, tried just being himself but found that things quickly got confusing. "To thine own self be true was going to be my motto," said Cosgrove. "But it ended up being kind of a s*...

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Funny story: Mr Ray Ving's thoughts for the day

Mr Ray Ving's thoughts for the day

In another one of our very rare interviews with Mr Ray Ving, a 78-year-old from Mithering on the Trent, we ask him what he has been thinking about lately. Here, for your delectation, are his thoughts: It is one of those mysteries that is only to k...

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Funny story: Why not try Big Game Hunting in 2020?

Why not try Big Game Hunting in 2020?

It has risen massively in popularity during 2019, especially among people with too much time and money on their hands who really, really love animals. Why not go to Africa and have a go at "The Big Five"? Geoff Arse is a professional tour guide in...

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Funny story: Local man slavers visibly during machine gun fantasy about noisy supermarket family

Local man slavers visibly during machine gun fantasy about noisy supermarket family

A 54-year-old Whitechapel man found himself salivating during a trip to his local Lidl supermarket, as he fantasised about scything down a noisy family in the shop with an old fashioned Tommy Gun. Toby Dell, a forklift truck engineer, had to wipe...

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Funny story: Corbyn beat me up in the toilets: Boris Johnson's shock claim

Corbyn beat me up in the toilets: Boris Johnson's shock claim

Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, told newsmen last night that defeated Opposition Leader, Jeremy Corbyn, attacked him in a House of Commons lavatory last week, leaving him bruised and bleeding from a gaping head wound. Johnson, who had just delivere...

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Funny story: Pure as the driven snow competes with peculiar stench over Washington

Pure as the driven snow competes with peculiar stench over Washington

Reports continue that occupants of the Washington D.C. area have been distracted by a mysterious odor, difficult to identify. Apparatus to cover the mouth and nostrils--plus gas masks--is seeing an uptick in sales this holiday season. The comme...

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Funny story: Man Successfully Deprogrammed Trumpist Cult Followers With Neuralyzer Prop From “Men In Black” Movie

Man Successfully Deprogrammed Trumpist Cult Followers With Neuralyzer Prop From “Men In Black” Movie

Culver City, California - A local man who worked on the "Men In Black" movie series was able to bring several brainwashed devotees of cult leader Donald Trump back to reality by simply flashing a neuralyzer prop that he kept as a memento of his work...

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Funny story: Local man's irrational excitement over new washing-up bowl reaches fever-pitch

Local man's irrational excitement over new washing-up bowl reaches fever-pitch

Local man's irrational excitement over new washing-up bowl grows apace. A 54-year-old man has told a local newspaper that the new washing-up bowl that his wife was given by a friend, has grown exponentially in his affections, and is now his most h...

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