There have been 86 spoof news stories published in December 2019. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Manchester United Ready To Give Pochettino Manager's Job

Manchester United Ready To Give Pochettino Manager's Job

Manchester United executives are thought to be putting the finishing touches to a deal that would install Mauricio Pochettino to the coveted Old Trafford manager's job, but will wait until after today's game with Aston Villa to make an announcement.

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Funny story: Harry Maguire: Manchester United Can Be Champions

Harry Maguire: Manchester United Can Be Champions

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender, has said that his team can still win the Premier League title this season - and he can prove it. The Yorkshireman was speaking after United's stunning 2-1 victory over their intens...

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Funny story: Mauricio Pochettino Spotted In Manchester Trafford Centre Buying Household Items

Mauricio Pochettino Spotted In Manchester Trafford Centre Buying Household Items

Shoppers at Manchester's Trafford Centre retail complex became excited this afternoon, after former Tottenham Hotspur manager, Mauricio Pochettino, was seen with his wife, shopping for bed linen. He was also carrying some towels and two cushions.

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Funny story: Manchester United Supporters Boo Team Off Pitch

Manchester United Supporters Boo Team Off Pitch

In absolutely astonishing scenes never before witnessed at Old Trafford, Manchester United players were booed as they left the pitch at the end of their 2-2 draw with Aston Villa yesterday. United, looking for a win that might keep manager Ole Gun...

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Funny story: Man Utd v. Tottenham: Spurs Favourites To Take All Three Points

Man Utd v. Tottenham: Spurs Favourites To Take All Three Points

It's the big game at Old Trafford tonight, and former Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, is back for the first time since he was sacked from the job a year ago. This time, however, it's with Tottenham Hotspur, the team that trounced his Un...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Warned About Xmas Carol Singing Nuisance

Harry Maguire Warned About Xmas Carol Singing Nuisance

The festive season is well-and truly upon us, and not without an early controversy, as Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire and his girlfriend Fern Hawkins have upset some of their neighbours with their own particular brand of...

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Funny story: Man Feels He Is Being Pressured Into Getting An Arab Girlfriend

Man Feels He Is Being Pressured Into Getting An Arab Girlfriend

Meeting a new partner can be a delicate matter, and one that shouldn't be taken lightly. Imagine the feelings, then, of one man, who was confronted with an online advertizement that, he says, put him under pressure to get an Arabic girlfriend. Moy...

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Funny story: Donald Trump Talking Doll - With New Added Phrases - Expected To Be Christmas Bestseller

Donald Trump Talking Doll - With New Added Phrases - Expected To Be Christmas Bestseller

The festive season is upon us once more, and as parents desperately wrack their brains for ideas to excite and surprise their children, help is at hand, as this year's most popular toy is set to be the new, updated Donald Trump Talking Doll. The d...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Play Santa Claus At Manchester United Christmas Party

Harry Maguire To Play Santa Claus At Manchester United Christmas Party

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender, is to take on an extra responsibility over the coming Christmas period, when he will be donning a Santa Claus suit and a big, fluffy, white beard, and acting as the official club Fath...

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Funny story: Man Successfully Deprogrammed Trumpist Cult Followers With Neuralyzer Prop From “Men In Black” Movie

Man Successfully Deprogrammed Trumpist Cult Followers With Neuralyzer Prop From “Men In Black” Movie

Culver City, California - A local man who worked on the "Men In Black" movie series was able to bring several brainwashed devotees of cult leader Donald Trump back to reality by simply flashing a neuralyzer prop that he kept as a memento of his work...

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Funny story: Where’s Ruthie? Ginsburg’s Dead, But Nobody Knows It

Where’s Ruthie? Ginsburg’s Dead, But Nobody Knows It

BILLINGSGATE POST: In the National Lampoon’s movie “Vacation,” the deceased corpse of Aunt Edna toured the USA tied to the rack of a 1979 Ford LTD driven by Clark Griswold in the family’s iconic vacation trip to Wally World. Where’s Ruthie? The...

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Funny story: Recently Hired (And Extremely Productive) Technical Writer Originally Considered 'Lame And Boring' By Coworkers And Staff Now Feared To Be Something 'Other'

Recently Hired (And Extremely Productive) Technical Writer Originally Considered 'Lame And Boring' By Coworkers And Staff Now Feared To Be Something 'Other'

Minneapolis, Minnesota. When Craig Wall, 37, was hired as a technical writer at Hydrocele Communications three weeks ago, his coworkers (and several support staff members) originally thought he was 'just really lame and boring'...or in the worst cas...

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Funny story: New York Writer Realizes She Must Have Genuine Love of Writing Because She's Definitely Not Getting Anything Else Out of It

New York Writer Realizes She Must Have Genuine Love of Writing Because She's Definitely Not Getting Anything Else Out of It

Charlotte Bonner of New York City, who spends her days doing a Manhattan office grind and her evenings working on short stories, blog posts and a novel-in-progress, none of which have ever garnered her any professional attention let alone financial r...

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Funny story: Rudolph Files Anti-Bullying Suit Against All the Other Reindeer

Rudolph Files Anti-Bullying Suit Against All the Other Reindeer

North Pole. Woof Blister reporting for SIN - Spoof International News. Following his great success as Santa's lead reindeer, and despite the heroic reception he subsequently received from his peers, Rudolph has charged all the other reindeer with bul...

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Funny story: Manchester City Fan Accused Of Racism Is, Himself, Descended From Apes

Manchester City Fan Accused Of Racism Is, Himself, Descended From Apes

A Manchester City supporter accused of making monkey noises directed towards Manchester United player, Fred, in Sunday's local derby, is himself descended from apes, it's been reported. Anthony Burke, 41, has been arrested by police, and is curren...

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Funny story: Greta on Prince Andrew's radar

Greta on Prince Andrew's radar

HRH Prince Andrew, the Duke of York, currently eighth in line of succession to the throne, has expressed warm approval and admiration for the efforts of the Swedish schoolgirl and climate activist, Greta Thunberg. "Yes, a marvellous creature. High...

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Funny story: Cat And Dog In LGBTQ+ Row

Cat And Dog In LGBTQ+ Row

As the world slowly learns to come to terms with the countless new rules imposed upon it of genderbending, an even newer and potentially more controversial consequence has raised its ugly head - involving a cat and a dog! In what has been termed '...

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Funny story: Trump Will Send ISIS Fighters Back to France As Soon as the Kurds He Abandoned Have Located Them

Trump Will Send ISIS Fighters Back to France As Soon as the Kurds He Abandoned Have Located Them

London, United Kingdom - President Donald Trump and French President Emmanuel Macron reached an agreement in London at the 70th Anniversary NATO Summit, on how to repatriate the hundreds of ISIS fighters that are still in Syria and surrounding countr...

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Funny story: Prince Andrew To Cut All Ties With Prince Andrew

Prince Andrew To Cut All Ties With Prince Andrew

After yesterday's news that Prince Andrew had been advised to submit himself to making legal testimony before a US court, and with more and more of the Duke of York's business associates disassociating themselves from him and his projects, the Prince...

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Funny story: Greta Thunberg Is Pregnant

Greta Thunberg Is Pregnant

There were 'knowing smiles' and sideways glances aplenty all across the scientific community today, after it was announced that the Swedish environmental activist, 16-year-old schoolgirl, Greta Thunberg, is pregnant - with ideas on how to save the p...

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Funny story: Macron and Trump compete over “brain dead” and other matters

Macron and Trump compete over “brain dead” and other matters

On the heels of an unsavory moment with Mr. Macron, Mr. Trudeau, and Mr. Johnson at the G-7 summit in London, Mr. Trump has angrily denied he will give a closing press conference. Recently, Mr. Macron is on record as having said NATO is “brain de...

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Funny story: Manchester City Fan To Be Banned From Pulling His Trousers Up

Manchester City Fan To Be Banned From Pulling His Trousers Up

Anthony Burke, the Manchester City supporter who is accused of gesticulating to a Manchester United player, and making monkey chants, but who denied this, and said he was just pulling his trousers up, has been banned from pulling his trousers up.

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Funny story: Local man slavers visibly during machine gun fantasy about noisy supermarket family

Local man slavers visibly during machine gun fantasy about noisy supermarket family

A 54-year-old Whitechapel man found himself salivating during a trip to his local Lidl supermarket, as he fantasised about scything down a noisy family in the shop with an old fashioned Tommy Gun. Toby Dell, a forklift truck engineer, had to wipe...

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Funny story: Cockerel Broke Duckling's Legs, So Man Dealt With Cockerel

Cockerel Broke Duckling's Legs, So Man Dealt With Cockerel

There was high drama in one back garden in southeast Asia this morning, after a confrontation between a huge cockerel and a much smaller duckling left the latter with two broken legs. The cockerel, which stood around two feet tall, took issue with...

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Funny story: Brexit Party member returns to primaeval soup

Brexit Party member returns to primaeval soup

A 56-year-old man, who was one of the founder members of the staunch, anti-European Union, Brexit Party, has regressed down the evolutionary scale, and has now returned to the primaeval soup where life on earth first began, 4 billion years ago. Te...

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Funny story: Racism News: Apes At Zoo Resent Monkey Chanting

Racism News: Apes At Zoo Resent Monkey Chanting

Monkeys at a British zoo have called for football fans to stop using monkey chants to taunt black players, as it tends to portray monkeys as somewhat lower on the evolutionary scale than humans, which they resent. Their concerns relate, more speci...

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Funny story: Man Realizes He Doesn't Really Know The Back Of His Hand As Well As He Thought He Did

Man Realizes He Doesn't Really Know The Back Of His Hand As Well As He Thought He Did

The phrase "I know it like the back of my hand" is one often used to indicate that the speaker knows something very well, indeed, but one man, this weekend, had to re-evaluate his use of it, when he realized he didn't really know the back of his hand...

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Funny story: Spoof Writer's Book On Amazon Was A Bit Pricey

Spoof Writer's Book On Amazon Was A Bit Pricey

A man who was looking into the affairs of a writer on the satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, was astonished to find that a book written by that writer was listed on www.Amazon.com at a rather pricey $965.90, which took some believing, I can tell y...

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Funny story: World Leaders Become Gossip Girls At NATO Conference

World Leaders Become Gossip Girls At NATO Conference

Professional two-faced gossip girl, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada, was caught on mic with other NATO world leaders, mocking President Trump's impromptu press conference, but there were more tidbits caught on hidden microphones at the recept...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Comes to Unfortunate Conclusion

Nashville Man Comes to Unfortunate Conclusion

Calvin Holmes of Nashville, Tennessee, came to an unfortunate conclusion when he reached the end of the spy novel he'd been reading and realized he'd never actually lived. "I've never been to Paris and bonded viscerally with a beautiful, voluptuou...

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Funny story: Toy Shop Recalls Action Man Figures In 'War Crimes' Fiasco

Toy Shop Recalls Action Man Figures In 'War Crimes' Fiasco

A major toy retailer has recalled millions of play figures after announcing that it had charged Action Man, the toy soldier with gripping hands, and realistic hair and beard, with war crimes against humanity. Toys-R-Bust say the toy, originally cr...

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Funny story: Man looking forward to spoiling Christmas Carols

Man looking forward to spoiling Christmas Carols

Former school bully, Colin Smythe, from Orpington on the Sea, has revealed, to no-one's great surprise, that he is looking forward to the Christmas Carol service this year. This is because, once again, his loud, aggressive, out of tune punk-styled vo...

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Funny story: Man going home early, because another man said something

Man going home early, because another man said something

There was consternation today, as an older adult left a room, and a country earlier than expected because some other men said some things about him. Donald Trump, American President and bit-part actor, left the country in a huff because some peopl...

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Funny story: Michael Buble CDs to become Legal Tender

Michael Buble CDs to become Legal Tender

Following high-level discussions in Parliament, with talks of a post-Brexit financial catastrophe, politicians have revealed that Michael Buble CDs will become legal tender in 2020. The CDs often kept following divorces, and relationship breakups,...

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Funny story: Li’l Wilmer Defeats Schift E Coyote In Loose Bowel Showdown In Saudi Arabia

Li’l Wilmer Defeats Schift E Coyote In Loose Bowel Showdown In Saudi Arabia

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a battle that no one thought could be staged - at least in the free world - Li’l Wilmer, who held the IAAF World Diarrhea All Specie Championship, defeated Schift E Coyote in an historic dog doo-doo contest that left spectators...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Promises to Never Do That Again Despite Not Knowing What "That" Is

Nashville Man Promises to Never Do That Again Despite Not Knowing What "That" Is

When Sam Chase's girlfriend, Hannah Garland, came to him in tears and pleaded for him to never do that again, Sam immediately agreed, only to realize he had no idea what it was that he was committing to not doing. "She asked me if I understood whe...

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Funny story: Anti-boxing man held for domestic violence

Anti-boxing man held for domestic violence

A 45-year-old man who regularly speaks out against the sport of professional boxing, was last night arrested at his home and charged with assaulting his wife. Neighbours raised the alarm when a heated argument between the couple developed into v...

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Funny story: Etch a Sketch cafe launches festive Coffee

Etch a Sketch cafe launches festive Coffee

Kevin Wilkes, the 24-year-old owner of Chutney on the Fritz's latest coffee emporium, Sketchy, has revealed his new range of seasonal drinks. There is the Marshmallow Maximiser, which is just an extra two marshmallows with a Hot Chocolate - perfec...

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Funny story: Me Too Accused of Male Sexism

Me Too Accused of Male Sexism

Me Too Headquarters, Washington, D. C. Woof Blister reporting. In a passing statement that had no apparent relationship to the Me Too movement, the organization's media office inadvertently created an uproar that has drawn widespread condemnation of...

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Funny story: Italian man abandons rowboat after collision with duck

Italian man abandons rowboat after collision with duck

The maritime world was aghast, last night, as details emerged of an incident that took place on Hyde Park Boating Lake earlier in the afternoon, when a man, believed to be an Italian national, threw himself from a rowing boat and swam to safety follo...

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Funny story: New Study Shows Opioids Really Not That Bad, Good For Shift Workers

New Study Shows Opioids Really Not That Bad, Good For Shift Workers

In a shocking turn of events, everything we thought we knew about the so called "Opioid Epidemic" has been turned on its head. Results of a too-secret five-year study of the drugs has determined that, as long as a person continues to take them, wi...

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Funny story: Prince Andrew Denies Ever Having Met The Queen

Prince Andrew Denies Ever Having Met The Queen

After a series of sketchy denials that were, quite frankly, somewhat difficult to believe, Prince Andrew has issued his most dramatic denial yet this afternoon, when he denied ever having met his mother, the Queen. Andrew, also known as the Duke o...

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Funny story: The Spoof Guide to making a generic feel good Christmas Film

The Spoof Guide to making a generic feel good Christmas Film

With the Christmas channel seemingly starting to broadcast films from mid-March, they have a serious number of hours to film with cheap, made-for-television films. It can be a lucrative market, particularly if it is shown during the day in November,...

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Funny story: Chutney-On-The-Fritz Fears Postal Strike

Chutney-On-The-Fritz Fears Postal Strike

The residents of the pretty little hamlet of Chutney-on-the-Fritz are up in arms this morning after it was announced last night that a Royal Mail postal strike over the Christmas period will leave them virtually cut off from the outside world. The...

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Funny story: Football Fan Abuse

Football Fan Abuse

A football team has turned the tables on abusive fans, as they booed a section of their home support at the final whistle. Siddrington Town, who play in the 15673rd tier of English football, turned on their support at the end of a dismal 0-0 draw...

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Funny story: Brian Asshat and Gary Johnson have never actually met

Brian Asshat and Gary Johnson have never actually met

Two of Chutney on the Fritz's most colourful characters, single train-spotting grammar fan and enemy of all things fun, Brian Asshat, and football-loving, toffee penny-loving husband, Gary Johnson, move in completely separate social circles. Brian...

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Funny story: Man forgets to wear water proof coat for his Mogwai

Man forgets to wear water proof coat for his Mogwai

American man Gary Walt Johnson has revealed that he has put his small town, Perfection, in Nevada, in jeopardy, after forgetting to buy a water-proof coat for his Mogwai, Gizmo. 'I know, I know,' said Johnson. 'I watched the documentary about them...

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Funny story: What Happened to Venezuela?

What Happened to Venezuela?

Caracas, Venezuela. Woof Blister reporting for Spoof International News - SIN. Last spring and summer, the likelihood of a successful revolution here in Venezuela was so great that even supporters of the Maduro government were preparing to leave the...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Unsuccessfully Tries to Give Girlfriend Space

Nashville Man Unsuccessfully Tries to Give Girlfriend Space

Pete Richardson of Nashville, Tennessee, thought he was being considerate when he offered to give his clingy, codependent girlfriend, Marissa Lowell, space, only to find that she took extreme offense at the gesture. "I just told her that instead o...

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Funny story: Desperate FDA Considers Changing Name to "Pizza and Drugs Administration"

Desperate FDA Considers Changing Name to "Pizza and Drugs Administration"

Desperate to boost its credibility and popular appeal, the Food and Drug Administration is reportedly considering changing its name to the "Pizza and Drugs Administration". "The 'Pizza' wouldn't be referring to just pizza, of course," emphasized F...

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Funny story: Busker as sick of this song as you are

Busker as sick of this song as you are

That busker who struggles to play Bob Dylan's Knocking on Heaven's Door is as sick of it as you are. Gary Smith, from Chutney on The Fritz, is always busking outside of Sketchys, the Etch-A-Sketch-themed hipster cafe, with his guitar, little amp,...

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Funny story: Prince Andrew denies all knowledge of the existence of Trump

Prince Andrew denies all knowledge of the existence of Trump

Following President Donald Trump’s denial of knowing Prince Andrew yesterday, the Prince himself last night moved swiftly to scotch rumours that he has ever met Trump, or that he even exists. Speaking to the BBC’s Andrew Marr in a hastily-arranged...

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Funny story: Eastenders cast has already filmed the 2026 Christmas Episode

Eastenders cast has already filmed the 2026 Christmas Episode

Eastenders, the London-based documentary, has filmed all of its Christmas episodes between now and 2026. It was said that set designers were sick of putting up trees in August to film, and Christmas decorations were hard to source, so all scenes w...

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Funny story: Madame Tussaud's has melted the wrong Donald Trump

Madame Tussaud's has melted the wrong Donald Trump

There was consternation today in London, when it was revealed that Madame Tussaud's began to melt the wrong Donald Trump. The President was visiting the tourist attraction as part of his most recent to London, and, after getting bored with spendin...

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Funny story: New York Office Worker Leads Rich Inner Life

New York Office Worker Leads Rich Inner Life

Although her day job doing data entry at a Mahattan financial services firm is not glamorous, exciting, or even remotely interesting, internally speaking, Laura Driscoll of New York City leads a life that's second to none. "It's so much fun!" said...

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Funny story: Charleston Man Urges Reinstatement of Slavery for Canines

Charleston Man Urges Reinstatement of Slavery for Canines

Speaking out against the - in his view - overly sentimental pet-parent culture that's pervaded much of the United States, Brett Gallatin of Charleston, South Carolina, is advocating for the reinstatement of slavery for domestic canines. "I'm not a...

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Funny story: Power Converters still available at Tosche Station

Power Converters still available at Tosche Station

Following the last-minute Black Friday and Cyber Monday rush, power converters are still available at Tosche Station. Ever since being spoken about in Space documentary Star Wars, Tosche Station has been making a roaring trade in Power Converters,...

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Funny story: Prince Andrew Denies He "Ever Ate a Pizza With Salad in the Middle of it" at Pizza Express

Prince Andrew Denies He "Ever Ate a Pizza With Salad in the Middle of it" at Pizza Express

London - Answering new charges revealed by eyewitnesses at past visits by Prince Andrew to several local Pizza Express restaurants, Prince Andrew vehemently denied having ordered and consumed a Pizza Leggera, a strange pie concocted by the eatery cha...

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Funny story: New Type Of Vampire Discovered (And They Are In Your Bank!)

New Type Of Vampire Discovered (And They Are In Your Bank!)

A new, terrifying species of vampire has been discovered that has begun a feeding frenzy throughout the world. The horrifying part is that it haunts the least likely of places - your local bank! This vampire is a new one for the books - it feeds n...

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Funny story: Admissions Scandal's Child: Too Smart for USC

Admissions Scandal's Child: Too Smart for USC

Hollywood, CA. Woof Blister reporting for Spoof News. Agate Hunter, the diminutive teenage daughter of screen star and indicted college admissions scandal celeb Rock Hunter, broke her silence today in a Facebook response to her ten million followers.

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Funny story: "Don't Make Me Do Stuff" Movement gaining traction.

"Don't Make Me Do Stuff" Movement gaining traction.

The movement known as "Don't Make Me Do Stuff" is starting to gain traction in Canada. What started out as a protest by mostly teens who didn't want to be told what to do, has developed into a whole movement of mostly teens not wanting to be told...

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Funny story: Man buying Quality Street just for the Toffee Penny

Man buying Quality Street just for the Toffee Penny

Gary Johnson, Chutney on the Fritz's football-loving husband, has revealed that he only buys tins of Quality Street (other tins of confectionary are available) for the Toffee Penny. Talking to us from the saturated pitch at the Hope and Hopeless p...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Feels He Has Real Potential

Nashville Man Feels He Has Real Potential

Despite some minor shortcomings pointed out by women he's dated, Charlie Murphy of Nashville, Tennessee, feels that he has real potential for being a great catch. "Once I fully quit smoking and start getting to the gym on a regular basis, I'll be...

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Funny story: Nancy Pelosi proposes special day honoring Democrats for saving civilization from Trump

Nancy Pelosi proposes special day honoring Democrats for saving civilization from Trump

Questioned on whether her notion for a new TGFD day means Thank God For Democracy--not just Thank God For Democrats--Ms. Pelosi responded, “N-no. I mean Democrats.” She further explained the word democracy is not specific enough for the current he...

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Funny story: House Democrats Bring Panel of Four Ivy League Professors to Make an Important Decision

House Democrats Bring Panel of Four Ivy League Professors to Make an Important Decision

Increasingly indecisive House Democrats have decided that they do not have the ability to choose where to lunch without a panel of elite Ivy League intellectuals. According to staffers, four professors were brought forward and questioned intensely by...

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Funny story: Chutney on the Fritz's Tourist Information centre is busier than ever

Chutney on the Fritz's Tourist Information centre is busier than ever

Alice Blenkinsop, Chutney on the Fritz's Tourist Information centre manager, has revealed that the pretty riverside town is more popular than it has been for years. She told us 'Due to some interest from a character named as Monkey Woods on a sati...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Falls Asleep at Wheel - Fortunately Before Turning on Ignition

Nashville Man Falls Asleep at Wheel - Fortunately Before Turning on Ignition

The morning after a late-night rendezvous with a new love interest, Nathan Cromwell of Nashville, Tennessee, got into his car to drive to his job at a call center downtown only to fall asleep at the wheel - fortunately before turning on the ignition.

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Funny story: Hillary refuses VP spot on Bloomberg-Clinton ticket

Hillary refuses VP spot on Bloomberg-Clinton ticket

Inside sources indicate Ms. Clinton has severe reservations on joining with Mr. Bloomberg for the 2020 presidential election next November. “Once a bride, or even twice, is enough,” she told reporters, “in this age of gender equality and alteratio...

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Funny story: U.S. House GOP to Posthumously Pardon Charles Manson: “He Didn’t Actually Kill Anyone”

U.S. House GOP to Posthumously Pardon Charles Manson: “He Didn’t Actually Kill Anyone”

Washington - Some Republican Members of the U.S. House of Representatives, a political party that, decades ago, stood strongly for law and order, have decided that an individual who orders subordinates to commit crimes bears no responsibility for the...

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Funny story: The Beast Of Barmston Drain

The Beast Of Barmston Drain

Zoologists have flocked to the ancient fishing city of Kingston Upon Hull after sightings of “The Beast of Barmston Drain” escalated in the past month. Fourteen sightings of the Beast have been reported, and locals are beginning to feel unsafe in the...

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Funny story: Conservatives should vote on Friday due to voting card mix-up

Conservatives should vote on Friday due to voting card mix-up

A nationwide change to polling cards means that the election will now be spread over two days. Boris Johnson has insisted that his face be printed next to the Conservative party's candidate on every polling card printed. As a result, there has been a...

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Funny story: UKIP Manifesto

UKIP Manifesto

Voters up and down the country were caught by surprise, after UKIP launched their political manifesto to six people at a local dogging site in Chelmsford. Current UKIP leader, Pat Mountain, was pleased with the reaction to the manifesto, as no one th...

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Funny story: Trump: The NHS Is Safe

Trump: The NHS Is Safe

If you’re wondering why a chill has just ran down the backs of all the female members of your family, wonder no more! Dementia-ridden reality TV star turned president, Donald Trump, is in the UK! As usual Donald has had plenty to shout about as he ma...

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Funny story: Big Turd Spotted In Drain

Big Turd Spotted In Drain

Police and council officials were called to a city drain this morning, after a giant turd was spotted bobbing up and down, by a man walking his dog on the public footpath adjoining the waterway. The incident took place in Hull in East Yorkshire, w...

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Funny story: Virgil out of Thunderbirds stole my innocence: Local woman's shock claim

Virgil out of Thunderbirds stole my innocence: Local woman's shock claim

A 63-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London has revealed that she lost her virginity to Thunderbird 2 pilot, Virgil Tracy, weeks after starting a job as a cleaning lady at the International Rescue HQ, Tracy Island in 1967. Mary Terry, a wi...

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Funny story: Man Went To Bed In Tracksuit, Scarf And Ski Hat

Man Went To Bed In Tracksuit, Scarf And Ski Hat

A cold snap that he was ill-prepared for resulted in one man going to bed last night clad in his tracksuit, big, thick football socks, a scarf, and a ski hat. Moys Kenwood, 56, a resident in Tapon commune, usually retires for the night in a T-shir...

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Funny story: Election U-Turn

Election U-Turn

The rambling gingerbread man posing as the current Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, performed a radical U-turn today after sensationally pledging to do everything that everybody wants all at the same time. After wolfing down several Kit-Kat Chunkies, h...

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Funny story: Yorkshire Pudding Festival

Yorkshire Pudding Festival

In a boost to heroic Brexiteers worldwide, Yorkshire has announced that Leeds will be hosting the first ever Yorkshire Pudding festival on the first of February 2020! The festival will coincide with the 500th anniversary of the invention of the Yorks...

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Funny story: Pelosi and Schumer unveil "artichokes" of impeachment

Pelosi and Schumer unveil "artichokes" of impeachment

Nanny Pelosi and Upchuck Schumer, speaking on behalf of the “Democratic” Party, announced two "artichokes of impeachment" against President Donald Trump. “Today, in service of our party,” Pelosi said, “we are charging the president with having hig...

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Funny story: Nashville Poet Narrowly Escapes Drowning in Stream of Consciousness

Nashville Poet Narrowly Escapes Drowning in Stream of Consciousness

Weary of trite rhymes and predictable turns of phrase, poet Walter O'Malley of Nashville, Tennessee, decided to try his hand at free-form verse, only to narrowly avoid drowning in a stream of consciousness. "I just thought I'd dip my toe in and ge...

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Funny story: It's Grim Up In Grim

It's Grim Up In Grim

A crisis engulfed the sleepy Durham mining village of Grim today, as locals reported several strange weather events throughout the week. Residents were baffled when the usually incessant rain began to stop for up to 20 minutes a day. Geordie G...

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Funny story: Mr. Barr's "thinnest of suspicions” explained; plus celebration of the underweight

Mr. Barr's "thinnest of suspicions” explained; plus celebration of the underweight

This week, Inspector General Horowitz stated that, despite some problems in processing, the 17 intelligence agencies responsible for Russia-gate were impartial, sincere, and unbiased. MSM pundits are pleased. However, Attorney General Barr did...

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Funny story: Labour MPs are rubbishing Jeremy Corbyn in an effort to lull Tories into a false sense of security

Labour MPs are rubbishing Jeremy Corbyn in an effort to lull Tories into a false sense of security

Labour MP Jonathan Ashworth has admitted berating his leader Jeremy Corbyn but, while he originally said he was “joshing”, he has now revealed that it was actually part of a Blackadder-style “cunning plan” to “lull the Tories into a false sense of se...

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Funny story: Man's Father-in-law Has Become Nocturnal

Man's Father-in-law Has Become Nocturnal

A man has revealed how his father-in-law has taken the unusual step of refusing to go to bed at bedtime, and staying up all night, then sleeping right through the next day, instead. Moys Kenwood, 56, a resident of Tapon commune in Battambang, clai...

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Funny story: New Dating Reality Show Features a Lot of People Sitting Around Texting

New Dating Reality Show Features a Lot of People Sitting Around Texting

A new, refreshingly true-to-life dating reality show called AuthenCity features an eclectic cast of single men and women who largely just sit around and do a lot of texting. "It can be tough to get any really good action shots," said cameraman Wes...

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Funny story: Johnson's U-Turn U-Turn

Johnson's U-Turn U-Turn

Looking like the ghost of a hunchbacked chef that haunts a ruined French patisserie, Prime Minister Boris Johnson performed a radical U-turn on his previous radical U-turn by revoking his earlier U-turn of doing everything everyone wants all at the s...

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