Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 14 April 2019

image for Elton John FA Cup Final Performance Offer Snubbed
Sir Elton in Watford tracksuit earlier

Sir Elton Hercules John, the popular singer, who has millions of fans worldwide, has offered his services as pre-match entertainment at this year's FA Cup final between his beloved Watford, and Manchester City, at Wembley Stadium in May, but has been told to:

"Do one!"

Last year's pre-match entertainers, Einst├╝rzende Neubauten, stole the show at Wembley, when repeated calls for encores from the crowd resulted in a delayed kick-off.

The FA fears that, if Sir Elton were to appear, it would be almost impossible to coax him off the stage, and he might well resort to telling anecdotes, something he is prone to doing at concerts.

Watford, under then-manager Graham Taylor, rose to prominence during the 1970s, a time when Sir Elton became chairman of the Vicarage Road club and won the fans over with a string of hits including 'Candle In The Wind', 'Rocket Man', 'Candle In The Wind', 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart', 'Crocodile Rock', 'Saturday Night's Allright For Fighting' and 'Candle In The Wind'.

The FA's decision to decline Sir Elton's offer is thought to be based partly on a rumour that the singer had plans to have the performance turned into a new live album release with a DVD.

John, real name Reginald Kenneth Dwight, is said to be considering his lack of options.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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