Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 25 December 2018

image for Used Condom Found In Christmas Cracker
Like this, but full of spunk

There was a less-than-festive surprise in store for one man and his girlfriend on Christmas Day, when they pulled a cracker, and out popped a condom - that had already been used!

Mick Warble and his fiancé, Donna Jackson, had opened their presents to each other on Christmas morning, and just finished their Turkey Dinner when Mick suggested they pull a cracker.

When they did, however, the 'novelty toy' wasn't up to much. Said Asda check-out operator, Donna:

"It was a bloody Rubber Johnny! I ask you!"

Mick wasn't impressed either:

"If it had been a new one, I could've used it, but, in that state, it was practically useless."

Novelty toys usually found inside Christmas crackers include items such as plastic rings, whistles, key rings or thimbles, and this is the first time anything as 'progressive' as a condom has been reported.

Still, Mick and Donna managed to see the funny side of the situation. Donna:

"I gave it a rinse out, then blew it up and used it as a balloon. Then we sang 'O come all ye faithful'. You've got to laugh these things off. It's Christmas!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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