Pogues Christmas Hit 'Fairytale Of New York' Comes Onto LGBT Radar

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 4 December 2018

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"You scumbag, you maggot..."

Christmas, the time of year when families get together and celebrate, and love and happiness is shared throughout the community, is almost upon us once again, and, to mark this festive season, the LGBT community is demanding that The Pogues song, 'Fairytale Of New York' is banned due to its controversial lyrics.

Originally released in November 1987, the song has reached the Top 20 of the UK charts on no less than fourteen occasions since then, despite containing the words 'bum', 'slut', 'junk', 'scumbag', and 'faggot'.

Pogues songwriter, Shane MacGowan, 60, who sang the original with the late Kirsty MacColl, was married to his girlfriend of 32 years, Victoria Mary Clarke, in Copenhagen last Monday. He was with his new wife when The Spoof's music correspondent, Paxton Quigley, asked him for his comments on the news that various LGBT groups have complained about, what they say is, highly-offensive language.

The happy couple answered as a duet:

Victoria: "You're a bum, you're a punk"
Shane: "You're an old slut on junk, Lying there almost dead, On a drip in that bed"
Victoria: "You scumbag, you maggot,
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas, your arse
I pray God it's our last."

Representatives from hundreds and hundreds of LGBTQI groups are monitoring the 'dangerous situation'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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