"Baby Jesus Would Adore Globalist Authoritarians"

Funny story written by Zabdgrov667

Wednesday, 26 December 2018

image for "Baby Jesus Would Adore Globalist Authoritarians"
Religious Leaders and Politicians - neither are in it for money or power.

VATICAN, ROME - Pope Francis provided a "casual response" to journalists after being asked about "Migrants" and the Border Policy of the United States. Democrats in the US Congress embarked on an "All-Christmas-Long" Media Blitz on how the "Religion of America" demands the Abolition of Borders, and added that "only Hitler would refuse Hillary Clinton's rightful place in the White House following the 2016 Presidential Election."

Representatives of His Holiness in The Catholic Church have provided English translation for key portions of the Pope's discussion. However, they cautioned against adding context to his words, where no hidden meaning was implied. Furthermore, journalists were reminded that it was not Vatican policy to engage in Political Evangelism, just as American Politicians would never use the name of "Jesus" or claim "Holy Scripture" as grounds to show scorn and disrespect to anyone that will not bow down to authoritarian demagogues of "The Establishment."

Pope Francis (Holy Catholic Church): "It was proposed that Jesus could not have lived to become our Savior, if a Billionaire Politician was allowed to build walls..... Yes, while it is difficult to disagree with the premise that GOD'S WILL is no match for a Border Wall constructed by an American Real-Estate Mogul, the most important revelation in this season of Christmas is that Globabl Warming will destroy all of civilization, unless the masses of humanity devote their complete obedience and praise to a Globalist Social Justice Order where the Enlightened Few Rule the New World Utopia - for all eternity."

Since the statement was released from the Catholic Church, high-ranking Democrats have insisted that President Trump would support a One-World-Government, if he were a "Real Christian." Meanwhile, Atheists praised Pope Francis for recognizing that United Nations resolutions, committees, and agendas promised a far better path to a human paradise on Earth, than any Invisible-THOU-SHALT-NOT-Sky-Person could offer.

American "Conservatives" have done little to embrace the new statement from the Pope. However, this should surprise no one, since the "Protestant Christians" broke from Catholic traditions almost 500 years ago. Christians with "Right-leaning" views claim that Democrats only become "Religious" when it suits their political ambitions. Many of them asked "Why is it that the FBI investigates Melania Trump on charges of Witchcraft, but no one else?"

Melania Trump Faces Indictment on Witchcraft

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more