Written by Gee Pee

Tuesday, 25 December 2018

image for A celebrity with a heart as big as his bank account (well, almost)
A happy Banks fan stuffing her face

Actor Tom Banks, whose net worth is estimated at $350 million, give or take a million, played Santa Claus at an N-n-Out Boogers in Fontana, Californicate, treating his fans to a free lunch.

“Order anything you want,” he told his devotees. “Money is no object.”

Hungry Banks fans bought hamboogers, cheeseboogers, French fries, shakes, and other items. Some of the more popular purchases included the Flying Dutchman (two beef patties with melted cheese between them), and the Roadkill Booger (allegedly made from, well, roadkill).

No matter the price, Banks paid for it all, including food ordered by drive-thru customers.

“It's not because he's a big star,” Bertha Bigg, one of his many fans, explained, “but because he's such a generous, big-hearted guy, that we love him.”

After Banks left N-and-Out, his devotees said, he was headed for MacDonaldo's, Booger King, and Long Dong Silver to treat other fast-food aficionados to free meals.

“His generosity knows no bounds,” Bigg said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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