Written by Chrissy Benson

Saturday, 1 December 2018

image for Nashville Musician Wonders if He Might Be a Little Self-Centered
Corndog Kramer has pledged to keep working on his shortcomings, even if it means looking at himself for the rest of his life.

Nashville musician Corndog Kramer, front man for the classification-resistant indie band Existential Insomnia, recently wondered if the adulation and praise lavished upon him by the discerning music aficionados who truly get his stuff, together with the longing glances that chicks regularly cast his way when he takes the stage in his full hipster glory, southern blues coursing through his veins, might possibly have made him a little self-centered.

“I don’t really think so,” said Kramer, "but I want to stay humble. It's something my fans really admire me for."

While a number of women Kramer has dated by inviting them back to the house he shares with three bandmates to watch Netflix have commented that he talked only about himself and expressed virtually no curiosity whatsoever regarding their lives or world views (apart from their impression of EI''s sole EP, released in 2013), Kramer largely disavowed such allegations.

"Women are drawn to my fire. And you know what they say, if you can't stand the heat..." He chuckled and shook his head.. "But seriously, if they choose to stand in my shadow rather than bask in my light, that’s on them. Their choice. I mean, come on! Codependency, anyone?"

Even so, says Kramer, noting that there is always room for a really great man to grow, he doesn't dismiss out of hand accusations of egotism and extreme self-centeredness. Using the reflection in a nearby window to adjust his delicately perched trucker's hat, he pledged, "I’m willing to work on my shortcomings, even if it means looking at myself for the rest of my life."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
48 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more