Nazis Sponsoring Nordic Walking Exercise Equipment?

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 12 December 2018

image for Nazis Sponsoring Nordic Walking Exercise Equipment?
A man walking down a slope in Nord

A TV advertisement for a 'Nordic Walking' exercise machine involving several supremely fit-looking individuals whose healthy, energetic and confident demeanor resembled that of some sort of 'Master Race', has attracted the attention of a man in Tapon who thinks the equipment may be sponsored by the Nazis.

Watching a kind-of 'Chinese Police Academy-but-with-soldiers' movie, Moys Kenwood groaned when the film went into a commercial break. The product advertised was the abovementioned walking/striding machine.

The participants in the advert were both men and women, clad in sporting vests and shorts, or bikinis. There were several settings: the first, a gym, then, an office, then, a beach. At the beach, the sun was blazing, and the finest examples of human physiology on the planet were using the Nordic Exercisers. How so many machines arrived at the beach, is anybody's guess.

Biceps pumping, thighs stomping, faces grinning, as if the strenuous striding exercises producing streams of salty sweat were actually enjoyable, if not ecstasy-inducing. The 'superhumans' displayed such vigor, vitality and boundless enthusiasm, they might easily have been participants in a Leni Riefenstahl montage, for some National Socialist propaganda flick.

Then the 'Chinese Police Academy-but-with-soldiers' film came on again.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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