Pope Francis To Guest On Jay Z Album

Written by Johnny Kitterick

Monday, 31 December 2018

image for Pope Francis To Guest On Jay Z Album

It has been revealed that Pope Francis is to make an appearance on hip hop maestro Jay Z’s new album. Whilst the rapper is known for his willingness to experiment musically, teaming up with the Pontiff would come as a major shock to his millions of fans around the globe.

The unlikely pair are said to have met when Jay Z requested a private audience with his holiness to discuss his much publicised marriage problems. Whilst their counselling session was said to have got off to an awkward start when both the pope and his Argentinian translator collapsed into fits of laughter, when they were told he was beaten up by a girl, eventually the two became fast friends.

Pope Francis then visited Jay Z at his recording studio in New York, and it was there he was invited to sit in on a recording session. To the astonishment of everyone present, when handed a microphone the pope began to rap non-stop for ten minutes. An onlooker described the seventy-seven-year-old as a cross between Kanye West and Dr Dre, with sample lyrics such as “I got 99 problems, but Jesus ain’t one”. Jay Z was said to be so impressed, that he begged him to appear on the album as a guest vocalist. The onlooker added that nobody had seen the rap god beg so much since Beyoncé caught him watching endless repeats of her pop rival Rhianna’s videos on YouTube while passionately kissing the screen.

His holiness was back to his day job today giving mass to thousands of worshippers in Vatican square. When asked afterwards by a female reporter if the rumours of the collaboration were true, the pope replied "MAKE MONEY MONEY" to which several bishops present nodded their heads in agreement.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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