Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 13 December 2018

image for Upskirty Stick To Be Removed From Stores
There was a gap to be filled/filmed

A company that makes smartphone accessories has announced that its 'Upskirty Stick', the newly-designed successor to the 'Selfie Stick', has been pulled from shelves after the government banned the product.

O'Sodomy Accessories say the 'Upskirty Stick' is an invasive new tool which can be employed to take discreet photographs of women's underwear or naked undercarriage without their knowledge and, more importantly, their authorisation.

The 'U-Stick', as it will be marketed, is made of ultra-light titanium, and features a trigger that telescopically extends the 22-inch shaft a further 18 inches, to get as near to ground level as is possible, to combat the reticence of those women who are a bit more 'pussy-protective'.

The U-Stick is ideal for use in bars, pubs, restaurants, in queues everywhere from the bank to the bakery, or on public transport, but now won't be on shelves at all, after the government ruled against it this morning. The original price of £29.99 is now sure to increase on the internet due to the scarcity its ban will create.

Head of the company, Ken W. O'Sodomy, said:

"We'd already sent out 50,000 on a no-return basis, and this is just the kind of publicity we were hoping for. Just like 'between the legs', there was a gap in the market that was there to be filled. Merry Christmas!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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