Students at Columbia University pulled the plug on SNL comedian Nimesh Patel in the middle of his set, after organizers deemed his jokes racist and homophobic. The comedian reportedly joked about a gay, black man he knew, saying that being gay cannot be a choice because “no one looks in the mirror and thinks, ‘this black thing is too easy, let me just add another thing to it.’”
Terrified students hid under tables and some ran for the exits as Patel unloaded a firestorm of “offensive” and “inappropriate” jokes into the audience.
Said one Bard College audience member who was emotionally injured in the incident, but refused treatment at the scene, “Obviously the world is not a safe space, but just accepting that it’s not, and continuing to perpetuate the unsafeness of it...is saying that it can’t be changed. When older generations say you need to stop being so sensitive, it’s like undermining what our generation is trying to do in accepting others and making it safer.”
Older generations may recall the unsafe seventies and eighties when comedy-related activity claimed untold victims, and kept most people in their homes, afraid to come out at night.
NYPD Special Victims Detective Dominic Rizzo, who was present at the scene, remarked on those dark times: “We’ve come a long way since the days when guys like Carrot Top used to roam the streets and back alley comedy clubs, preying on the innocent.”
Rizzo went on to recount the worst call of his life. “I remember a comedy room of 200-250 people slain by Gallagher back in 1982. Dear God, it was the most horrifying scene I’ve ever witnessed. So senseless, everyone covered in pumpkin and watermelon guts, laughing hysterically. You’re never the same after something like that. It haunts me to this day.”
“I suppose these kids are onto something,” said Rizzo. “Thank God dangerous dudes like George Carlin and Richard Pryor aren’t around anymore. I mean, these were serious guys - seriously funny guys. They were killers. They’d put you in a body bag.”
The students hope to one day rid the comedy club stages of comedians altogether, making the shows safe for them to do what comes naturally...staring at their smartphones.