Two naughty nuns have been spotted gambling in Las Vegas on slot machines and Blackjack tables with money they slipped into their wimples.
When asked by their boss, a Papal rep, where in "heaven's name" (get it?) did they get the money from and why they did not donate it to the homeless in LA they answered:
"Well sir, we have plenty of room in our habit and, nothing much goes on in there. So, we thought, why not stuff them with the money we were given by dopey parents sending their kids to our expensive school.
"After all, the homeless can scrounge a living, we have to pledge our lives to poverty too! So, bingo, let's have a party now and then!"
The nuns were told to give back their desecrated penguin outfits and pray to God for redemption.
Both nuns could be sent to prison if the Catholic church decides to process charges, or instead, if the crime deemed serious enough by the church investigation, given a slap on the wrist and ordered to say 5 Hail-Mary's.
God help us all, or at least me.
I'm trying, God, I'm trying.